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Jon's September and October 2008 Blog

Fri 31st Oct
Bud Selig : This Is 'Nam There Are No Rules

Baseball had quite clear rules on rain-outs until recently and that meant that the World Series was won by the Phillies on Sunday. Now apparently Bud Selig changed the rules and the final 21 (or 18 as it turned out) outs of that game were played Tuesday after a further rain delay.

Now I am not as sacrosanct on top flight sport having the same rules for; post seasons; and regular seasons; pro and amateur. I would have no problems unlike FIFA allowing goal line technology in England (Even though to the clowns that demand it it actually does not exist yet! Doh!) even if this technology was beyond being installed in Mali it would not affect the International game.

However what I do object to is that Bud Selig would change a rule mid flow and tell no one. Aside from opening up accusations of corruption it is a denial of the way the world has moved. Sports bodies that do this risk the wrath of Bookmakers. A surprisingly large number of sporting events audience watch because they had a bet. How can bookmakers allow bets if the rules may have changed? They would have to pay out on their rules and on those Philly would have won even in the Rays swept the final 3 games.

As it happened Vegas paid out on Sunday and Hamels is still MVP and the Phillies still won 4-1. However anyone who says the commissioner did the right thing is wrong. What he did may be right but not in the way he did it i.e. a friend borrows your car fine if he told you he was and did not sleep with your wife as well.

Tue 28th Oct
di Santo Condemns Mourinho and Grant

Franco Di Santo came on for his 5th bench start against Liverpool on Sunday. Now the first reaction is that it is nice to see Chelsea's ludicrously expensive system find a player. The 2nd reaction is to wonder with Anelka a passenger if maybe he could not have started. The 3rd reaction is to wonder if Drogba is not up for it when he comes back how Chelsea will ever break down a good team or win from 1 down if they have to use Anelka or kids. The 4th reaction which I will cover here is to condemn the lousy managers who left the club bringing on talented kids for an extended sub appearance in their biggest game of the year so far with probably less than a full game's worth of first team football (according to soccernet 78 minutes in 4 prior apps one of 2 mins).

Those for whom cretinicity is a default brain setting and whine about Arsenal not winning a trophy for 4 years can ponder this. Whilst Chelsea have reached and won cup finals like the Carling and FA Cup. Those wins and even finals appearances have come often at the expense of blooding any youth players. The fact that winning both trophies cost Mourinho his job implies that whilst they may be silverware the metal is silver-plate with the silver as fine a layer as possible to put on.

Indeed Chelsea's cup runs have generally shown Chelsea manager's lack of job security in more than just short term thinking. Given that some of Chelsea's recent seasons ground to a halt late with tired un-rested players it can hardly be said to have been an intelligent approach to the first team.

Of course rather than blood players these throw away games have also seen as a sop to poor players they do not want to play like Sidwell, Wright-Phillips etc.

Rather than diss Chelsea maybe this is a homage to a de facto director of football like Wenger who has the whole of a club under him. It does seem odd to me that clubs have massed youth players and yet continue to pay high wages and long contracts to ordinary players in easy positions to fill. Nothing condemned Spurs former Director of Football Comolli more than the 9 million for Hutton!

Certainly it beggars belief that Chelsea spent 30 million on 2 Portuguese right backs in the last few years! Never mind the wages.

The problem is that Chelsea basically appoint a coach who has no tenure and who suffers from an ageing squad and no clearly defined targets. Plus a feeling he has to win every game as his job is on the line. It makes no sense aside from forcing extreme short term decisions on a manager.

OK last year Wenger failed to choose to drop the league campaign for the Champion's League (or vica versa) which is of course easier to win but he still blooded untold kids in the 1st team and stuck with them - even if surely he can see by now that Eboue is shite! He also blends his new signings in slowly rather than have them dazed and confused for 10 games - it is a holistic approach that I doubt anyone at Chelsea has the intellect to comprehend as they count their money and wait for the sack.

The answer is clearly to create a structure not what Spurs did, 2 remote and competing appointments. Where your first team manager and coach runs the whole club and has some tenure - a contract neither can get out of easily save for say a really bad results clause. I guess where that falls down for Spurs and others is that even if you get a Wenger you will struggle to keep them from the big boys. Also there are very few people qualified for the job as so few people do it professionally - even in Europe directors are often just adjuncts for the owner/chairman/president and not coaches. Nonetheless I don't know what the gap between Spurs and Arsenal financially etc. was 10 years ago when the crinkly Alsace Frenchman came along but I do know it's massive now. Arguably Allardyce despite being a player trader was this at Bolton and they at least brought through some starters.

The flaws lie in the way appointments are made and that the kind of people you want are few and far between. For me the best way is to identify the next generation of Allardyces and Boothroyds and to avoid the pure player traders and supporter managers.

As a BTW someone asked me if Capello was a good bet to be next Man United manager. At first I thought yes. Indeed if the appointment is made by the Septics or Gill probably. However United surely require a domineering whole club guy to get them back on track youth wise and not a first team coach like Cap'. The only two I could think of who I would consider are van Basten who is back with Cruyff (my prayer mat is out) at Ajax trying to repair what van Gaal started to destroy. Or Klinsmann who I believe is re-vamping Bavarian Munich/Bayern Munchen.

Indeed another thing Arsenal, Man United, Munich and Ajax have in common a history and a management structure filled with people who believe in the club, its history and its ethos. (Of course Klinsmann at Munich may be the worst signing of both club and player's career!) Chelsea have no one left except Ray Wilkins a man who left for money when still a young man and pimps a media career as some sort of Chelsea legend. Which reflects great credit on Wenger for borrowing from the past and building on it rather than throw it all away Chelsea style.

Mon 27th Oct
Scolari : Proved This Clown Wrong

I must confess that I was not a fan of the Pinochet loving Big Phil and did not fancy his chances. I assumed from his on touchline persona, with Portugal, that he was related to the lunatic Hiddink. Oh, and his running from the English media 2 years ago.

So as an irony after his first defeat and ending Chelsea's home unbeaten record I should choose not to bury him but to praise him. Besides the home record is pants anyway like Arsenal's unbeaten season - invincibles my arse. Grant's Chelsea lost the league last year under an avalanche of home draws. As yesterday showed a deflected goal and bang you lose. Albeit Chelsea looked largely ineffective but you cannot blame Scolari for suggesting Chelsea were better after all only an idiot craps on his own doorstep when he does not have to.

Chelsea almost seem like Arsenal to confirm my view that teams insecure enough to play hard to win 5-0 struggle to win the tight ones. Indeed had Liverpool and United attacked them rather than sat on leads then they would have been shown up far more. Against lesser sides at present they can throw the full backs forward and compensate for playing without a striker.

Indeed in a game against deep set opposition Anelka surely has no role? I spent the 2nd half wondering why Kalou who is at least a physical presence and others were taken off and Anelka, whose passivity and refusal to compete stand out in the premiership is established, stayed on. I wonder if Abramovich freshly shorn of Beeeellions of dollars insists that his now worthless 15 million signing plays. I feel for Anelka in some ways he is misunderstood as frankly his record clearly shows he has never been that good. He is OK given time and space to finish but as the game has got more competitive he has no weapons to consistently hurt teams in defensive alignment.

However what I meant to say was that Scolari is actually a footballing gentleman who never whines about referees and decisions and accepts the result to a degree wankers like Jose and Rafa don't.

Sun 26th Oct
Spurs : Any Cliche You Want

I have a sneaking regard for Harry Redknapp. Sure he is a player trader whose clubs spend far more than they earn but hey if they give him the money why not. If I am one of those gormless fans who want to spend their whole life making the team they support an integral part of who they are but refusing to let any kind of rationality, logic or fair mindedness interfere with that then this is the best appointment they could make.

Indeed one can assume the board's aim now, having given up on anything but a revolving door of costly players for the first team, is to get up the league and try and pimp the club to a foreign buyer. However this is currently being tried by everyone it seems, so good luck with that.

In the end whilst Spurs sort of had a structure with a sporting director and a coach it is hard to see that they were doing anything more than paying two people to trade and coach players.

One day clubs will create a baseball style GM office with a mixture of traditional scouting and player development people. With a strategy to actually make some of the young players at least the standard dull runners who can play holding midfield, full back or fill one of the wide positions. The idea that a single manager is the only way to go and that is even desirable is a denial of the recent history of players bought for reasons that are baffling. A denial of the massive debt and cost of buying 20 players of a squad of 24 which will now not be helped by a falling pound sterling.

The fact is no manager has time to manage the club and scout. Sure the Redknapps and Allardyces have good contacts with agents and can manage well to make up for bad buys but a) free agent players are expensive - free ones cost b) The scope for corruption is unlimited c) most managers leave before the players contracts and fees are paid up - either through the sack or being hired by someone else d) not every manager is 'Arry or Big Sam see Dowie, Reid, Gregory, Venables, Walter Smith, Souness et al.

It is without doubt an irony that the 2nd biggest club in the land, Arsenal, whilst having a single main manager has the best structure underneath him. That they professionally are developing players from a very young age with the technical ability to play at the top level, even in real positions not just meat head full backs and holding players.

Sure Redknapp's track record is good and if they wanted an English England manager he was my pick. However whilst one could say he brought through Ferdinand, Lampard, Joe Cole and others I would argue that 2 of those developed out of all recognition for leaving and all had to be sold to pay the wages of Titi Camera and a host of complete dreck - see Curbishley this year where a moderate team carried a 50 million payroll and he quit cos they did not want him picking any more players! Go figure. Plus the club was famous for developing talent and not the necessarily the manager's job but he did pick them. Unlike so many clowns who'd rather Carlos Kickball full backs for 9 million like Keeper Killer Hutton.

Also the cynical defensive ways of his ageing Portsmouth defense who give away free kicks rather than allow people to attack in open play when their lack of pace can be exposed gives lie to his reputation for attacking football.

When Arsenal sign someone he is scouted 30 or 40 times not bought off a video tape and a pithy one liner - George Weah cousin being the funniest. So if I am a Spurs fan I will look forward to nice simple 442 football and 5 years of decent finishes but I really cannot see it going anywhere but then outside of United and Arsenal all anyone else seems to want to do is burn money....

Maybe a recession and falling currency will lead to a more intelligent solution and end the unambitious corrupt era of the player trader. The lack of ambition and short termism of the 2nd tier of English football is far worse than ther domination of the top teams.

Few will mourn Comolli's passing whose mis-management and spivery trying to get every last penny for Berbatov (penny-wise pound foolish - a phyrric victory) set a new low in ego driven stupidity. Ramos is confusing given his Sevilla performance but how about this! Maybe they should have got his Sporting Director who built the team that even he could coach.

So for me it is out of the fat and into the fryer.

Thu 23rd Oct
Beckham Milan No Sense

Superficially Beckham to Milan suits everyone except Victoria whose awful fashion sense will lead to a crucifixion. However unless Milan are now basement dwellers it cannot make sense for them to have Beckham except as a marketing tool. I know many think that is why Capello keeps him around to come on for 10 minutes when the game is won.

It would surely make more sense to go to a team where he can play 60 or 70 minutes every game rather than one where he can at best make cameos. The fact is that he is a vastly reduced footballer and it seems to be a triumph of ego over rational judgement.

The fact is few top clubs are as weak out wide as England whilst Downing is able to command a squad place . So it is bizarre a top class team would want him or he would get the regular game he needs.

Or maybe Italian football and Milan in particular just stinks right now.

Wed 22nd Oct
Champion's League My Arse-nal

I do not want to seem little Englander or even nasty about Europe's premier club competition but...

Can we get the group stage of the so called Champion's League cut? It is as competitive as international Australian Rules Football between Australia and Azerbaijan (or anyone).

Honestly even Rafa can get Liverpool through it most years despite them almost always being favourite and that causing Gerrard to lose hair and frown heavily at the pressure of it all.

Currently the cyclical dominance is with England. Indeed the sheer dominance of 3 or 4 English teams in the last 8 year after year suggests only the mental weakness that pulverises the national side prevents more than 2 wins in the last 4 years.

So let's go back to a straight 32 team knock out and end this group nonsense. It will make the tournament fly and allow teams to more often be champions at home and in Europe rather than have weaker teams like Liverpool target the end of the season, as in year's past - maybe not this year.

Wed 22nd Oct
Australia Lose : About Time

Australia lost their 2nd test in 29 since the 2005 Ashes. Somehow I do not think this makes them past it. It does not mean that England will be doing well to be beaten less than 4-1.

Sure Australian may go back as it searches for talent. As it tries to find a better team. However these things will and will not happen unlike other nations.

• Selection will not be political. It will not pander to past glories or stars. It will not accept mailed in performances.

• If Symonds/whoever wants to be a clown he will not be indulged ala Flintoff. Seriously Symonds every indiscretion is punished Flintoff's persistent drunkenness was covered up until he splashed it, literally, all over the front pages.

• The team will not be picked by a captain and coach away from home on international duty for 280 days a year and thus in the worst position to pick the team.

• Players who were dropped for a bad attitude and who want games off will not be tolerated.

• Players will be replaced with direct replacements likely to take the place permanently not stop gaps to keep the seat warm for good chaps.

• Players will be picked for what they can do not what some bigot of a coach thinks they cannot.

• None of their players will be allowed to make a mockery of themselves for a TV station.

• The Australian media will not stop firing at them even when they win. It will not glory in past glories but will address the current. It will not fetishise results. It will not worship certain players as deities. Winning alone will never be enough.

• Any revolutions will not be televised.

Good for India. No go and win the series but who do I think will be no 1 in 2 or 3 years time? Australia. Even if it is with a completely different team. The reasons are not Ponting, Warne or any individual player but the professionalism and impersonal system that others absolutely refuse to countenance trying. As though trying to win is somehow dashed unsporting.

In terms of England I hope the team win the Stanford millions and all the un-professional clowns use the money to retire. It won't happen unfortunately.

Sat 18th Oct
Burnout, Theo, It's Worse Than That Jim

Wenger fears burn out for Theo is the headline.

The truth may be worse than that - he's not that good.

Scoring goals young for England can keep you in the team for 4 years without a meaningful display as Wayne Rooney can attest to. It seems to make you almost as loved as one of their own. The fact that beating Croatia up with 10 men is considerably easier than beating a Chelsea or Man United or even an Everton is not mentioned. Rooney's blitz of the Croatians and Swiss in 2004 led to 2 years without a competitive international goal and being a striker effectively consigned England to 10 men and a liability for years. BTW I am not picking on Rooney but the managers who picked him and left him thinking he was doing OK.

Scoring goals in a team in which you should score plenty of goals makes people forget things and judge you positively. However the truth of Walcott is that whilst, ala Owen, Rooney and Shearer, the commentators scream ever louder with each passing goal the fact is that like racing just judging the finish misses 95% of the facts. People say that if a Brazilian scored that goals etc when the truth is if an England striker scored that goal it would be hyped and people with valid critique based on 90 minutes of 10s of games would be shouted down in a haze of US Presidential election style meaningless one liners.

The problem with Walcott is that he seems unsuited to any position in even a modern flexible attacking unit. At Arsenal, or England, out wide in a 442 he qualifies as a liability. At 0-0 with the game on the line despite some improvement he still stands on the periphery of the game. He often gives the ball away and his passing is worse than even Wayne Rooney's circa 1996.

Wenger is dropping his young star is probably closer to the truth. He sees a team with its 2 strikers and lightweight midfield 2 cannot afford to play a non player for most of the game. At present like McClaren's England his team is OK in blow outs but is maybe not all that in tight games late when they have not blown the opposition away.

At least ala Rooney when he is stinking the place up Walcott can look forward to several years of people talking about how he has many other facets of his game that to an unbiased observer he does not. Unlike Rooney Walcott does not have great off the ball movement. He is not a physical presence in any way, shape or form. He is not a forward who pushes defenses back. (As Rooney does when he plays for the team not himself as he used to almost exclusively do till Ronaldo showed him what a star player actually was).

Thu 16th Oct
Capello: 2nd Half : Drops 442 : Not Rocket Science?

Second stanza you could can see that 442 or 451 (hard to argue what England played but they had Gerrard central with Barry and Lampard) England have a horrible tendency to sit and watch the ball defensively. Mercifully in this formation they have more cover and a higher starting position.

Although really next time England have to keep 2 or 3 players up the field that prevents opponents flooding your defenses except late on when they are prepared for the risk. Anyway one that Capello can work on

Interestingly unlike Saturday Gerrard was further forward than Lampard. The result is the same mind, the opposition suddenly have no counter play and England dominate territory and possession where it counts.

Walcott withdrawn after once again showing that he is not yet a 90 minute player, or even a player for every game, as he is still a defensive liability in a 442. He is too lightweight and loses the ball too often anyway. Not that Wright-Phillips exactly excites after his lightweight tenure at Chelsea saw him sent back to Man City for less than half what he cost. Indeed in a half England dominated he was conspicuously absent from the action.

Commentator, self righteous for no reason, John Champion said no doubts about Walcott just his consistency! Of course the better the player you are the more naturally consistent you play. As of course your bad games are normal player's good games. Walcott's bad games are a not a good player's bad game.

The point with this 2nd half performance like most of Manchester United's best recent ones is that rather than a defined shape England actually played with real flexibility - 442 seems to force it out of them with its easy division of the pitch. Arguably at times it was a 42 with a diamond of Gerrard at the base Phillips right and Rooney and Heskey rotating. My real point is that the extra body defensively and layer of outlet for England solves almost all the problems if denying a touch of width. A small price to pay.

Oh and nearly a final point Crouch is not a replacement for Heskey and next friendly we should look for some one else even if not my boy Kevin Davies.

And finally Rooney gets important goal not cream on top and indeed finishes as he fails to do often enough - he's frustrating but maybe he finally gets it!

Thu 16th Oct
Capello: 1st Half : 442 Surrenders To The Morons

I pointed out after the last England game that the change to 442 left us wide open and yet Capello starts this game 442. On Saturday the first 4 good chances in open play 2nd half fell to the seemingly, to that point, inept Kazakhs. Ok they conceded from a couple of set pieces but frankly that and shooting from distance may be all the weapons England has at 0-0 lined up this way.

442 with a player like Walcott is not a great defensive alignment. Compounded by the way that without the extra man centrally our full backs and wingers get isolated. The result is that lots of players get free shots in and around the England box. Worse the lack of depth in the formation creates an inertia as we line up 2 nice lines of 4 and become defensively static.

It also creates a tendency for our defenders to drop deeper and deeper. This does not pay off when we attack as we end up so deep and players so isolated that we cannot spring forward or end up hitting balls into the channels where our winger is isolated against 2 defenders.

Maybe Arsenal can get 2 strikers and Walcott to work but they seem a lot like England against defensively aligned opposition as Fulham and Hull have shown.

442 seems to result at present, for England and Arsenal, in games like Croatia followed by turgid performances against organised and determined teams. There is a reason that few top teams play a 442 without it really being a back 6.

Given you can count on the fingers of one hand when we have genuinely tried a proper 451 and 442 has failed for 40 years. You have to wonder if it is just the ease of analysis with isolated players easier to blame by the media that retains the myth this works in any way.

451 is seemingly a virtuous circle for England when a proper forward is picked Heskey, KD etc not Rooney, Defoe, Owen and Crouch: Our defense naturally moves up: better team play in midfield so that long balls are less common: better ball retention from extra passing options: wingers defense is less important: defense is improved with an extra body (even better if you have 2 defensive midfielders).

Without a lot of team speed and the requisite technical ability to hold the ball I cannot see how 442 is the best solution for England. It certainly seems to us defensively all over the place and too deep and easily pushed back for long periods of the game.

Mon 13th Oct
England Lose It As They Romp Home

In the end it was a romp. England won the 2nd half 5-1 despite an absolute howling brain cramp from Ashley Cole. So the 2nd half was the way forward I guess? Ummmhh No

The first half was surely the future as England played a modern flexible formation. So dominant were England that the only danger came from a back pass to David James. The problem was that Rooney, Lampard and Walcott were suffering from performance anxiety in the last 3rd.

The switch to 442 left England wide open and whilst the first half had been frustrating there was no danger or threat. In the end a corner and a free kick own goal made the game comfortable - neither of those events is exactly a result of 442!

The fact is that whilst 442 will create open games and allows England to run the less pressurised games as weaker opposition spurn chances (see Sven's chaotic but almost flawless qualifying record) it leaves them wide open against better teams. This is not a matter of players as even a Hargreaves left alone with an attacking midfielder breaking forward cannot stem counter attacks. It is also much much easier to retain the ball with the extra body. Indeed the real loss is team cohesion as all opponents need to do is constantly isolate the central midfielders forcing back passes and punts.

The point is the 2 halves showed the difference in 433 and 442 for England. The long balls and brittle defence is not about individual players (no Stevie Gerrard you are not to blame as much as I would like to). They are a symptom of the system. The only way to play 442, for me, in big games against good teams is the Arsenal way with effectively 2 mobile technically good holding players like Petit and Vieira in their pomp. That would mean leaving out at least 1 and maybe both our best players and would not be an ideal way to deploy either one (whatever Stevie Gerrard thinks is the best formation for it to be about him).

Stevie played after his I can't play my best position with Frank Lampard in the team crack - effectively saying Frank Lampard should be dropped whatever the apologists say now. Stevie therefore picked the wrong occasion to have one of his worst player on the field matches. Sure in the 442 as it was so wide open he got to make sliding yellow card waiting to happen tackles but the point was clearly we should not play 442 against good opponents. Indeed in a 433 who was the attacking midfielder chosen by Capello? Who did he feel was his most talented midfielder? Clue he was once known as jnr.

Emile Heskey as he did last year against Chelsea showed some of the promise of that day when he dominated Nesta, Cannavaro and Maldini as Beckham became captain. If Emile played like the first half every game he could score no goals and be the most valuable member of this team - the missing jigsaw piece that actually fits. A player who knows it is not about him.

The idea of Walcott and Joe Cole with Rooney to come off the bench also occurred to me - any combo you like and add in Bentley back on form and maybe it is not so bleak. As I have stated elsewhere the best team I saw under Mourinho changed 2 or 3 of its 3 forward players every game between 60 and 70 minutes.

As Mickey Owen watched Beckham he must have wondered what qualities Becks posesses that he lacks that so impresses Fabio? It is simple Beckham realises it is not about him. That loyalty in football can only be one way and that is player to team and manager - he broke that covenant and left United and rediscovered it as he and Fabio left Madrid looking like fools for throwing them out. A player with those qualities and who handles PR and media as well as a late innings cross pumper is more valuable than Mickey. Although for those late game situations 1 down I still think Mickey has to be considered!

So I saw the possible better future and despite the commentator's negativity it was the first half. Let's not fetishise the result there is a good reason that top international teams often win 2-0 rather than 5-1 - Brazil maybe the only exception.

In the end though one wonders if England could not do with finding better full backs in an attacking sense. With getting a top class cat and having better replacements than Mattie Upson sold by Arsenal for 2 bottle tops whilst they retained Cygan (probably a mistake by the 'Snal!). Also this team is built around an ageing core in Heskey, Lampard and James. We are and should not be among the favourites just yet. Our one world class player is the manager.

Wed 1st Oct
Arsenal

I love the way that small samples of games are used to judge a club. So Arsenal's concession of 4 goals in 6 games has led to 2 defeats. This is probably bad luck as much as a sign of a significant weakness. Sure one would say that some more rigidity and commitment at defensive set pieces (yes you William Gallas) would make them better but which team has no weaknesses. I know one thing no team has more players coming through!

There is tendency for reporters to want to put on a narrative that makes the last game 99% more important than every other game prior. This is nonsense.

Indeed I suspect any doubts about Arsenal will persist until someone tries to play back at them. It will be interesting if Manchester United or Liverpool or Chelsea set up like they are Bolton rather than as the confident European tyros they would claim.

For instance defeats are over rated as it is one point less than a draw - the team that wins the most games generally wins the league. Whilst much is made of the unbeaten Arsenal team it should be said that that team was over the season nowhere near as dominant as the Chelsea and Man U title holders of 2005->2007. Last year Chelsea and Man U dropped to the 85->87 points that Arsenal can reasonably aspire to this year.

I just wonder if the English press can cope if Wenger rotates Theo and uses him off the bench more as could easily happen with lightweight wide players who are often better off the bench anyways. I know someone wondered how United could leave Rooney out and yet they keep buying players trying to improve on him in Tevez and Berbatov... I think that is an easy one frankly.

Mon 22nd Sep
Europe Lose Slow Golf Show

Hopefully Ian Poulter and some others will learn from losing the Ryder Cup. Playing in front of a partisan crowd and losing should hurt. Winning is the object in any sporting or athletic endeavour (does golf qualify as either?).

This exhibition has been shamelessly used by European golfers as a fig leaf for their failure until recently to win major championships as individuals. As it is only Harrington has won a major of the European 12 - US had Leonard, Mickelson, Furyk and Curtis. The fact is that golf is about the majors and this historic biannual exhibition is not a major.

Those who claimed Faldo should have picked Clarke over Poulter will have little mileage in reality but will whine nonetheless. The fact is 12 hours standing in heat anyone sane would choose Poulter over Clarke and indeed he was the only player to play every round for Europe.

This should be a pretty even contest that is a bit of fun. However it has de-generated into a spitting contest with Europeans taking far too seriously the comments of small town Americans.

Team golf is an alien concept but it should, but won't, be an eye opener that the US won without their best player. Imagine if it is possible or even advantageous in golf where shots are still played individually how important it is in football to have a team balance over the individual name recognition?

Next time let's have the players on the clock...

Mon 22nd Sep
Best Two Teams In Europe?

One could make an argument that Chelsea and Manchester United are the two best teams in Europe only separated by a toss of a coin in May. Yet change is quiet and unseen. Peaks are passed without anyone realising. Projection is never guaranteed.

Watching Chelsea it is apparent how old they are getting. I mean they lost one player in warm up and one after 20 minutes.

Their youthful acquisition is a 16 million right back with seemingly little ability beyond being able to bust a gut. Their other recent signings are dominated by full priced ageing players of little virtue (Anelka and Malouda).

Put simply half their starting team would appear to be poor all round footballers in C'Ash, Bosingwa, Anelka, Malouda and Mikel. Is it any wonder they concede possession and Terry is increasingly caught in run down situations he is poorly equipped at?

Terry is at best stagnating at worst in physical decline as shown by his declining goal totals, if nothing else. Added to that Cech appears after his shoulder and skull problems to not be the wall he once was.

On top of that Lampard, Drogba, Ballack and Deco are all past 30.

United at least have Ronaldo for now. The rest of the team is either old or dull runners who work hard bar Rio Ferdinand and Vidic. Berbatov at present hardly looks energised by his recent promotion to the big leagues. Rooney will be a player but only hype based on people's original expectation will keep him considered a top footballer.

All I can say is that if I was a neutral, rather than a lapsed Chelsea fan, I'd rather be watching Arsenal than this diet of physicality and the occasional spark. Whether they can be as consistent as teams with the size and power of Chelsea will be answered but long term they are a better bet.

With so little talent about and seemingly no one, bar Arsenal, Man City and Boro trying to develop talent one wonders if the league could look very different even if we avoid a long deep recession. Indeed if the Abu Dhabi boys can avoid the ageing obviously barge pole pros like Ronaldinho and co and stick to getting the next Scholes, Fabregas and Lampards to add to their youth system Manchester City could be well placed.

The driving cog is better than the occasional drive wheel that does wonderful things.

Tue 16th Sep
Guthrie Not That Type Of Player?

Danny 'Cunt' Guthrie claims that despite video tape showing he clearly is that type of player he is not that type of player after breaking Chris Fagan's leg with a deliberate foul designed to hurt. He'll probably get a 3 matcher for it so basically is unpunished.

We had this nonsense from Loon-Alex after 'Mad Martie' Taylor had cracked Eduardo's leg with the ball 4 feet away. Indeed Loon-Alex suggested that 'Mad Martie' Taylor would have to make tackles like that 5 times a game.... No wonder football supporters, even admirers of much of what McLeish has done, were not unhappy at Birmingham's relegation.

Yet these events barely touch the media unlike a suggestion, not even actual, that someone may have gone down without all the force coming from a sliding tackle. If that someone is foreign, good looking and plays for United or Chelsea you will see it repeated on Sky Sports News every 10 minutes for the next week.

This is the value system that is communicated in English football. One is actually left admiring the referees and their management to have moved the game this far where the managers, pundits, himbos and bimbos of Sky are still in the 1970s where football was more a war than a contact sport.

This is current climate where John Terry's unspeakable cynicism is defended as not being worth a 1 match ban never mind the 3 matches it is currently, and deservedly, due to get. Yet the likes of Ronaldo will get lynched for not trying to stand up when the likes of Terry or Guthrie try to go through him - ridiculous.

Mon 15th Sep
Emile William Ivanhoe Heskey Is Not The Only Fruit

It is an odd thing that when things fall your way and all those small differences aggregate then you can get a great result. Thus it is that many will fetishise the England XI who got their best result - although they won't demand Gerrard is left out as they did Lampard after a few results last year, oh to be a shallow vacuous self centred media favourite (See Flintstone, Kegsie, Vaughan and other under achievers).

As usual I digress one thing that I think McClaren rediscovered as England made themselves favourite to qualify for the last Euros was the use of Heskey. When Heskey was unavailable he went back to Crouch, Rooney and Owen and let's say we failed to qualify - not because of a lack of goals but team cohesion.

Sometimes it is small things that help a team and it is hard to quantify. Although it could be a freak Wayne Rooney's goals are removed from United last year they lose 1 point. However he missed their first 4 defeats and was off the field I believe when Chelsea made that 5. He was the only genuine fit front player they had and they needed at least something there to play off.

For England I guess the larger front player offers: a physical presence to make the game an ordeal for defenders: the ability to hold the ball up allowing other players to get beyond him and play off him: an aerial presence to flick the ball and allow people to make gambling runs off that. Who knows exactly where these differences make a 3 goals in 24 games last year like Heskey seem so valuable.

Indeed an examination of his play on Wednesday will make it even harder. Heskey does not move a lot and did not win that many contested headers. Indeed what was his contribution to any goal? Maybe the biggest contribution is unlike Rooney/Defoe/Owen if he gets the ball in traffic the outcomes are more often the ball retained - free kicks and passes to his team mates. Plus time for others to join him like Lampard and for the wide players like Cole and Walcott to get into dangerous areas. In short the ball comes back less often and play can develop. Not to mention if someone does hit a 50 yarder someone who can contest a header!

So is Heskey any better than the player David Sullivan mocked as he left Birmingham? Disregarded by Liverpool. Is he worthy of a top half club? Probably not. Then again Walcott's effects on the 3 Arsenal games prior hardly had many of us getting all warm and moist prior. It all shows better to have a team play as a team than not - less stars more achievement.

So why did Capello not have a reserve for Heskey? Why Heskey? What would we do if he was injured?

Crouch is tall and actually more of a threat to get a headed goal but he is almost lightweight and awkward rather than a threat to hold the ball up - see his pathetic display against Portugal in 2006.

Bolton's 3 goal 2008 player of the year Kevin Cyril Davies for instance has a similar (poor) goal scoring record over recent years despite being played out of position wide, is more physical and has probably had 5 better seasons than Heskey consecutively since he was resurrected by Bolton. Heskey is the de facto choice because he was selected young he has that glow that those kind of players get. The danger with Davies is he is older and his style of play might not translate - although he looked fine in the UEFA cup last year. Indeed he is be more mobile and physical than the cerebral Ashton.

Even if you don't buy the Davies argument there are other choices like Agbonlahor and Bent (who we can scout on Monday night as it happens when Spurs and Villa wrassle). The point is we do not need a great or even a good player just a strong physical player willing to put himself on the line and play for the team! The truth is that Heskey is not that good so why is there no replacement on the bench? Why would we want to go back to 2 of the likes of Rooney/Owen/Defoe/Crouch/Johnson/Walcott together?

It does for me show up people when the prodigies stay privileged over other players even 10 years later. The excuse will be their experience which is of course a self fulfilling prophecy. Is Heskey better than players who were not quick enough developers to be at top clubs to fail in big games and be sent to Birmingham and Wigan? No.

Sun 14th Sep
Terry Deserved To Go

In many respects John Terry is one of my favourite footballers. However he is also a very problematic defender when playing a high line or without cover as he can be exposed. His responses to being exposed are often amazingly cynical. Pushing the boundaries of what referees should tolerate.

Against The Nouveau Riche of Manchester City he just pulled someone down with seemingly, from his perspective, no one obviously between that player and the goal.

In terms of overturning his red card I think if you think about it purely from Terry's Point of View then Ricardo Carvalho is behind him and covering. That is the viewpoint everyone on Setanta took. However Carvalho was not within 20 yards of Terry. Terry did not even try any kind of legal footballing manoeuvre. Indeed had Jo not had to avoid a body check and arm arguably he is a yard further down the pitch. For me by not making a tackle Terry loses any benefit of the doubt like a diver claiming a penalty, tough.

Personally I am always happy for referees to border on the side of the attacker when cynical play is concerned. After all they allow a lot of gamesmanship at set pieces by defenders and it seems deliberate cheating (fouling) by defenders is far less punished than simulation by attackers which is an automatic card.

Now this will always be a matter of opinion but why the uniform condemnation from ex-player pundits of, at worst, a welcome envelope stretcher from Halsey? Why do they accept that defenders can cynically reduce opponents to free kicks from long distance as Portsmouth's ageing or useless [Glen Johnson] defenders did in the cup final? Who wants to see free kicks which with all the arguing and cheating take what a minute or more off the clock with no action? Surely we want to see open play? Players running at defenders? Players like Theo Walcott and Wayne Rooney?

Like the stuff about raised hands referees have a guidance but they don't have to follow it - pundits are hilarious as they call for common sense as long as it is common to their view and for dogma at the same time - hey they are ex-players what do you expect?

If Halsey who is probably not mobile enough can do the trigonometry on Ricardo Carvalho he could also note that a 2nd city player was on side and clear who Ricardo Carvalho had been covering. So Jo would have been a pass away from a 2 on 1 through on Cech - that is a clear goal scoring opportunity in anyone's language. Frankly With Terry taken out then at best there was only one player to prevent a much faster player getting a shot off - I don't like the odds if I am Chelsea and John Terry clearly agreed with me. A clear goal scoring opportunity is the rules not just the guidance.

In the same way that I struggle with sane people automatically taking the side of Kevin Keegan when the only real complaint Newcastle fans and pundits should have is the original appointment of a weak populist who walks away when the going gets tough. A man who wants to buy his own players but has not even watched football for years - as his ludicrous choices showed.

I will be shocked if Halsey changes this to anything other than a professional foul 1 game ban straight red. Whether Chelsea have another centre half they trust will be an interesting question for next week.

It is clear that one can denounce owners, and referees and excuse the brutal cynicism of defenders without a raised eyebrow on contrary remark. I don't get it. This is pure herd behaviour led by a coalition of ex-players who don't own the game and frankly many of them would not even watch it were they not paid to like Kevin Keegan.

In conclusion John Terry is the one who made this a decision and maybe if he tried tackling then he would not be sent off i.e. even if you construe this as a non goal scoring opportunity the fault is with Terry for forcing the decision in the most cynical fashion. If he gets 3 matches for serious foul play, something that is the ref's opinion with no dogma defence, then frankly I am all for it as well and will laugh at the whiners.

Sat 13th Sep
England - Less Stars More Football

Whilst one hopes that Capello is wiser than that the win over Croatia in the face of lowered expectations has the hall marks of being as over stated as wins over Germany in 01 and Holland in 96 - note how both wins came in a mood of self created depression and miserable expectations over the team and the way it played. Those wins presuaged nothing except hubris and over rated over ego'd players.

Honestly 1996 and all that:it took Teddy Sheringham 2 years and winning nowt at Man United in 98 plus Mickey Owen taking his place to get his ego in balance: Fat Al Shearer never got over being hyped beyond reason for putting a Dutch team divided by the buffoon Hiddink and race: Gazza was gone fat, drunk and unfit in 2 years: Paul Ince ponced around pitches like he was so hard and no one should mess with him as his club career ground down with unsuccessful stints at Inter and Liverpool: Macmanaman stayed the same annoying ponce he was before: Tony Adams recovered from alcoholism and became a calmer more measured man... OK every rule has exceptions! (OK United fans and Gary Neville went on to become a role model as well, happy?)

1990 was maybe worse: Des Walker went from a highly rated defender to liability seemingly between the last ball kicked against Germany and the start of the next season - it took England managers years to notice and as laughable as it seems now restore Tony Adams who was a drunk anyway: Gazza went from national hero to national disgrace nearly as quickly: Waddle never did score and create goals before to be fair: Shilton lost all his money: Mark Wright never progressed to be the kind of player he could have been: Dorigo and Parker lasted what 3 years as top flight pros after this?: Pearce and Platt were the exceptions!

Anyway now the ray of hope comes not with the youth of the side as we have seen that before as well.... No it comes from that without Beckham, Owen and Gerrard England played Team football.

Want proof something different happened? Well before the game Chris Waffle was making out like England were a Tony Pulis team, "Set pieces are very important to the way we play". So of course England proceeded to pump 5 goals from open play (counting Lampard's bizarrely disallowed goal). Only one of those could be described as a goal on the break and even that was scored by the right winger.

Name the last run of 4 or 5 England goals not involving a set piece somewhere? Indeed whilst the first was a botch job it was still worth noting that rather than expect our "free" central midfielder make Steve Ovett look like he was not an athlete by being both defender and attacker it had both flank players in advance of Rooney and Heskey. Indeed I think this is the only way to play 442 without a threat as huge as a Christiano Ronaldo is to have the team move up and back as a team thereby mitigating the extra man others put in midfield.

Even for United the idea that the central midfielder make advanced runs like Lampard does for Chelsea in a 3 man central midfield is preposterous. You see the conundrum in the way that Rafa has never been able to deploy what my man called a "25 minute player" in Stevie Gerrard (Did I mention he picked the wrong week to crap on his England team mates and managers - What a Cunt). Or England managers have struggled with Lampard and/or Gerrard never getting the balance right.

The one thing I did note was that Wes Brown is beginning to look like a footballer. Now this could be a misconception but maybe a long run at right back at his club is helping. Whatever what really showed up in a team moving up as a team with a higher line is that it cannot afford to have a 2 left foot left back. Cole offers little in that defensively he is a mess and losing his pace. Ironically he frequently is in the right place in attack but other than decoy has no weapons to hurt teams. His crossing is shocking and his goals and assists rarer than Capello broad grins. Indeed with us now facing likely teams just lining up not to get drubbed and greater expectations. Some height and delivery at left back will be more important!

Although it will run contrary to the journalist and pundit obsession with a best XI they can name the way forward is to use our resources properly. For instance it COULD be better to play a bigger and better all round player than Walcott when faced with teams who set up 460 defensively against England, home and away, as the whole of the rest of the group will now. Indeed play a big team and after 60 or 70 minutes send Theo at them with a licence to thrill.

Oh and in this new pragmatic approach Joe Cole starts - period.

Oh Oh Beckham stays as totem and media friendly face of team on bench. Bar a brief spat with S'Alex (who does not have those on the way out of OT? As the great man generally tells them not to let the door hit them in the fanny as they leave) he has never insulted his team mates or crushed his manager.

Indeed the title he played a decent part in winning for Capello at Madrid was instructive where he was humiliated and cut out by Capello for half a season (probably at the boards insistence, so much for Keegan wanting sole control when even the great Fabio has to kow tow to an extent). Beckham just fought back on the training pitch and telling the president just what he thought of him in private

In some ways that last year at Madrid was probably his best triumph and showed that for all the crap he is a team man (unlike Gerrard, did I mention he dumped on the team this week?). Beckham also has uses for late game situations when we want to just ping balls into a crowded box - he lacks the mobility to start.

Oh Oh Oh It is now a 14 man game and managers should not in close games get to 88 minutes without using their subs as Toshack did against Russia.

Fri 12th Sep
England - Less Stars More Achievement

Capello is beginning to get the English mentality. That crack about better away from home a sign of his growing understanding of the gap on the pitch compared to the training ground. If he were a racehorse trainer he has a stable of morning glories who run better for other stables.

The only oddity as I and Harry Redknapp have pointed out is how they were under-dogs going in with a team containing 7 Champions League finalists. Indeed had Barry gone to Liverpool only Heskey and James would play outside the absolute top tier unlike every Croatian I can think of.

Indeed had Capello woken up to the facts that: Wayne Rooney should not come back to give away bad free kicks and penalties: Ashley Cole is frankly a poor player getting worse as he loses his pace: Croatia would have achieved nothing positive till England began to relax and Lamps playfully played a cross field ball...

The key for England is to cope with the expectation and pressure of being expected to win that will, rightly, follow. We know from his auto biography that Gerrard wants no part of expectation and prefers to shoot for miracles from 3 down no expectation. He claimed he dissolved at the last world cup under the expectation of being 8/1 third favourites. Indeed Gerrard picked the wrong week to slaughter Lampard, Barry, Scholes and others as the first 2 played out of position for the team pretty well! Indeed without Captain Miracle Ball England played team football and without any individual having a great game (Walcott's finishing excepted but what was the rest of his game like - I know saying bar the hat trick what did he do is trite but sometimes the ball falls your way esp against 10 men).

So the real problem for Capello starts now. Unlike the 5-1 in Germany in 2001 we do not want to follow this with craven displays as happened against Albania and Greece. Not to mention the last qualifying where having got behind England swept teams away until expectation arrived and resulted in the craven surrender to Russia and Croatia. They only have to fear fear itself... Just relax and play must be the message.

I hope that with the pressure off we can see more positive stuff from my favourite love hate figure Wayne Rooney... Rooney with England ahead and facing 10 men helped himself to an assist and a goal. Now the media can concentrate on the big men and leave the little man to be a good but not great player.

Anyway time to There We Bloody Said It. Having watched Euro 2008 I would be a pickled gherkin if Terry and Rio would not get in ANY team together. Terry won the Champions League defender of the year.

Frank "My Boy" Lampard has any player who can play a conventional central midfield role done as well in votes and awards since Platini? Gerrard is not far behind him either. Lampard is Champions League Midfielder of the Year, Modric plays for Spurs and Krancjar for Portsmouth.

Right on cretins are always painting Lampard as inferior to limited players like Essien and Makelele... Yes 30 plus goals and assists a season, at his peak, midfielders are rarer than hard working tacklers (I am being ironic).

Maybe it is time the risible cycle of failure, downgraded expectations, underdog wins, expectation and back to failure was stopped. Our players are good enough and we should tell them that. We should stop creating a tabloid climate just because losing sells more papers (I include all newspapers sports sections who are currently making Theo Walcott something even his manager would not agree with).

Because you know what really shocked me after this game it was unclear if any England player had had a great night in terms of all round performance. Croatia were just simply out-classed. Also with: Rooney declining in status: fans and media not getting Lampard: Beckham only a sub and ageing: England did not have any "Media Elite" super stars like Owen (whose own status is still far in advance of his actual ability) and the one who kicked Lampard in the groin prior Gerrard.

Time for England to win and expect to win. If Steven Gerrard does not like it tough!

Fri 12th Sep
Theo Walcott - We've Seen It Before

As much as I would like to see Theo Walcott's 3 goal blast (get in there son) as more than something that happened and a sign post to the future I cannot. Indeed it is worth chipping in that in 3 games so far for Arsenal he has gone from starter to bench with 2 lamentable displays.

This is not to crib young talent but my Arsenal friend said BEFORE the game this was the 1 game for Theo as they would come to us and he would get the ball in space as he did v Liverpool last year. He also chipped in that 1 on 1 with a keeper he has mad skillz and now I am a believer in that.

However as we saw with Owen in 98 and to a lesser extent Wayne "Baby" Rooney in 04 the expectation is rarely fulfilled and arguably we have not played to our strengths trying vainly for 10 years to get tune out of either one. Like Defoe and them Walcott's lack of physical prowess and football intelligence (OK Mickey Owen has but in the cause of Mickey!) makes him a hard shape to fit in a team that really is a compromise as it stands to keep certain players in.

Frankly if you are Arsenal can you say no if the monied clowns of Man City come with bucket loads of money for a player: who cannot consistently hurt organised opposition: who loses the ball cheaply: who hides out wide and leaves you with 10 men for most of a game: is useless in the air: and does not truly have a position on the field.

As Wenger said today it is only one game of football.

Thu 11th Sep
Vaughan Central Contract

The decision to award Vaughan a central contract and the whispers Pietersen still talks about Simon Jones as an England player are dispiriting. On several layers it points to: cronyism: failure to scout for talent, recognise and encourage it: a denial of the last 3 years of mostly futility. See Harmison, Jones and Vaughan last few years where they rewarded their easy money by staying hurt or not trying.

Not to mention the recall of Harmison and on minimal evidence on a helpful wicket the view that he had got back somewhere between the 3 years of junk he bowled and his best. If Harmison genuinely benefited from the drop why throw hundreds of thousands of pounds at him now? Keep him mean keep him keen.

Personally I see no evidence Harmison will be effective on the flat pitches on which he averages over 40 a piece, especially against Australia but the selectors clearly do.

The real problem is that other 'outsider' talent is dismissed with one liners about character which is a joke in a team with Collingwood, Harmison, Flintoff and others.

Indeed whilst they keep talking of a stable team it does seem the drop works better than being nice. Look at Prior who freed from Peter Moores coaching is threatening to be a good cat - his primary role. If he can catch off Sidebottom he should regain his test place! Indeed the boorish clown who defended throwing sweets on the pitch seems almost a more circumspect thoughtful man all round now. The Drop it works on English sportsmen....

Australia change their team and drop players, for years, with less evidence of decline than England. They also don't settle for 1 decent series every 3 or 4. The reason is that not only is their captain just another player but the selectors maintain a detachment from the team. For instance how can they knock Tremlett and even consider Jones and Harmison? The reason is that one is Tremlett the others are Steve and Simon.

The other crass habit England have is when they finally drop someone they don't use a like for like replacement and then give the new guy 1 or 3 tests at most. Andy [Strauss] being the best one where Bopara (not a batter like Shah/Strauss) gets 3 tests against Sri Lanka so they can give good old Straussie a nice 6 against New Zealand who reek. Again this stems from a cosy club looking out for itself.

I feel England probably has the player pool and talent to make a run at being world no 1 but frankly even a win in next year's Ashes will be unlikely to see such a thing whilst the person worst suited to pick the team, the Captain, picks the team.

Once you're in the club it is money for old rope.

Tue 9th Sep
Murray Only 1 Step Up

Wow he finally beat Nadal.... That is great.... Well Yeah but he got blown away in the final. Plus beating Nadal at the US Open or on any artificial surface where he has yet to make a Grand Slam final hardly makes it the big 4. As it happens the best players on this surface played in the other semi final.

Did one final played make Rusedski a great player? So on reflection Murray is improving and may be close to the 4th best player. However that is a cliff face still to climb - it is the highest position Rusedski and Henman reached. At 21 it is encouraging nothing more.

Tue 9th Sep
Gerrard Another Populist

Steven Gerrard ala Flintoff and Keegan drunk on their popularity and their seeming inability to be self critical used his lofty status as the public's favourite to whine about playing out of position for England. Frankly other players have stayed fit better over the years and are more consistent. I don't think Scholes and Lampard ever turned in 5 goal 2 assist seasons for their clubs in over 30 games. They probably have never had a below 40% pass completion in a big game like Gerrard in 2004 v Portugal either.

He also fails to mention that by playing with him those other players played out of position. Or that between the Portugal game and 2006 world cup there was no reason to play him ahead of Lampard who carried England to qualification with 5 goals. Indeed Lampard plays out of position in nearly every England team as he is a 433 player.

Or indeed that his own Liverpool managers have trouble deploying his odd shape in any conventional formation. Does he believe that Benitez, Capello and Eriksson all do this deliberately? That they are sabotaging the team just get at him? That maybe they see a little less of him is good for the team? That without effective wide players why drop Lampard/Scholes and play Gerrard central if you have to use tokens like the ageing Beckham or Downing out wide? What we can say is that he is a ME player.

It is amazing that our obvious strength from world player awards etc midfield has never been bent to play to its strengths - Lampard AND Gerrard AND Scholes Ok not all 3 at once but rather than crap on the other good players Gerrard should really look at himself and the set-up.

Complaints by Gerrard are just a sign of his self centred immaturity that has meant that his immense talent has never consistently delivered. A team like Liverpool should manage a title challenge at least once or twice every 5 years? I can only recall 1 by Gerrard's boys in the last 10. Indeed last season may have been his first consistent one for a whole league season I can recall.

Now he would be my first choice England player (ahead of Lampard whose age tends to make me look elsewhere as he is the better game in game out player). However he misses the greater problem the 442 formation pandering to our weakest players - the wingers and the forwards. We have not had a good centre forward at more than goal poaching in at least 10 years. We have not had a semi decent natural wide player (Joe Cole does well sometimes but is as natural as Katie Price/Jordan) in my memory - fans of Waddle and Barnes are delusional if they think I am only going back that far.

In the end we really end up with the popular using that popularity to support a 'me' position. Number of times Lampard and Scholes have complained at being out of position played with Gerrard 0. Oh and thanks to his fitness regime he is once again unavailable for England which would cause a normal less teflon person to keep their mouth shut.

Sun 7th Sep
Sarah Palin Made Manager

Ok I am going to stretch credulity and link Sarah Palin and Kevin Keegan. Last week both came out and made emotional appeals to their constituency. Both would be said to be refreshing and straight forward. Both make immediate appeal to something in us that longs for our subconscious prejudices to be correct - for the world to be simple. A world where there is a sophisticated media or director of football or chairman making the world seem difficult when the real solutions are simple.

Anyway I'll leave Palin out of this now! To Keggsie. Like Andrew Flintoff no matter how despicable his blundering ignorant behaviour the masses will only see a decent straight forward man. We want to believe that a man as seemingly nice and honest as Keegan was forced out. However the truth increasingly sounds like a man who as with that wet day at Wembley just wanted out. The complication he owed his bosses money if he left and managers have come to assume that losing your job is the best pay day going.

Who can forget McClaren smiling like a Cheshire cat with 3 million quid to fuck off and get another job as he said he would not change a thing about his time as England manager! Yet poor Keegan had a £2 million headache the other way. The only solution was to get sacked it seemed.

Personally I think his transfer targets Lampard, Ronaldinho, Henry and Beckham merely reflected his out of touchness that meant he should never have been given the job. His talk of defenders Dunne, Woodgate and Hyypia ditto old players he might have heard of.

I am sure that Keegan is not malicious, unlike the vicious Palin, like Flintoff merely that as we all do we bend the world to what suits us however unconsciously we do that.

In the end Ashley seems to have decided on an ethos and strategy headed amazingly by Dennis Wise! All I can say is that he is not wrong to try to emulate Arsenal but one has to question his appointments. Whilst I was a fan of Allardyce's use of science he was in essence a player trader not someone who built a club culture. Nor was he seemingly in line with the invented history of Newcastle as a footballing team - I asked my Da' and basically West Ham, Spurs and the pre Munich Man United played the football. Brutal attacking football played through centre forwards is not what I think is meant by good football. Besides whatever Big Sam would argue he would be the type of man who would want complete control.

Then he goes to Keegan a man who is a pure player trader and motivator. A man 10 years out of time. Keegan got rid of the reserves in his successful stint here last time. Then he could buy the best centre forwards (Les Ferdinand and Alan Shearer) and was shopping almost alone for talented foreign players with the biggest budget. So his major useful strength was his motivation. I would imagine a generation of players increasingly used to more scientific methods were beginning to not respond and the knowledge he would have to influence players he had no patronage over led to his needing a way out.

I don't know enough to comment on Wise and one should not use prejudice about the character of someone who may know the game intimately. I mean who thought Roy Keane would be the most measured and nuanced of premier league managers?

Today I would be a happy Geordie to know that despite the hiccups that there is a plan and ethos that makes sense. The problem is if ageing pros and a infantile crowd now undermine the club and force a more populist short term and pointless management, purchasing and appointments.

As to those angry weak people who rushed to Keegan without considering his history and waiting for the facts all I can say is you clowns. 2 years ago they demanded Freddie out only to back down when the team won a couple of games. They are children. Unlike Sarah Palin what a football manager says and does has to do more than be popular on one day in 4 years.

Sun 7th Sep
Amir Khan - The Harsh Sport Of Boxing

Amir Khan as he heads to a gold lined Palookaville in the land of obscurity might well ponder this morning that were he a footballer he'd still have years of public attention ahead of him. Indeed he beat Wayne Rooney in the auto biography stakes by being published at 19 but that is probably the last time he matches Rooney except in under-achievement.

Some will cling to Rooney's single and very atypical inch perfect pass to help Joe Cole add some sour cream on top of another dismal England display as proof that Rooney really is a good player. They will ignore the rest of his poverty stricken game and the fact that he is not just not Cesc Fabregas but arguably his touch around the box makes him the anti Cesc.

However no one can cling to Khan's chances of even winning a de-valued alphabet soup title. He, unlike Rooney, has almost all the skills except he is poor at avoiding punches and has the resistance of glass when they land. In sports where individual achievement is measurable and world class established by record and measure, not what people would like to believe, the Khans cannot dine out until their late 20s on people's image of them as young and fresh faced unlike say Rooney and Owen.

Indeed in football it is hard to imagine a Bernard Hopkins emerging late to be a top player. Generally speaking no matter how good one gets the England squad and top teams are full of those chosen young.

Alongside a bet on Prescott I also backed journeyman pro Cook to beat Khan's fellow over rated prodigy Alex Arthur seriously if Michael Gomez beat you (Arthur) or nearly beat you (Khan) then you are not world class not matter how flashy your work.

Whilst the formerly likeable lad [Khan] will still be remembered as the 17 year old Olympian by some it is more likely he will be forgotten without a dramatic and almost unheard of turnaround. Had he stayed amateur he could have stayed a much loved fixture of the British sporting firmament with real tangible reward of Olympic medals and probably gold ones at that with any improvement from his 17 year old days. Whilst the earnings would have been lower they would have been steadier and much longer lasting. Being a well known amateur on the BBC is higher profile than being even a good pro boxer. You have to reach a strata of Calzaghe or Hatton or Lewis who were all the best fighter at their weights to transcend being on pay per views and Sky. With 4 Olympics a Gold and a Silver only say he would have been as set for life and dragged out every 2 years at Olympics/Commonwealths.

So it is a shame for Khan that unlike Beckham he cannot be famous with questionable achievement as he competes in a sport where one weakness is all one needs to be an ordinary fighter no matter your talent. The other shame is his speech is already that slurred boxer speak and the contents of that speech are all about respect and what he is going to do. Other sports at least leave you with your mental faculties and a vestige of dignity.

Mario Kindelán who beat Khan at the Olympics said he should stay amateur as he did not have the punch resistance... Smart man.

Fri 5th Sep
Curbishley No Victim - Keegan Child - Newcastle Fans Pathetic

There is some equating of Curbishley with Keegan. Although I am sure Keegan would have wanted to achieve it, and would have, he has not been responsible for the kind of transfers that left West Ham with a coterie of ageing injured pros on huge wages (50 million a year). How do you bring in young players on reasonable wages when poor players earn twice as much and live in the treatment room? Harry Redknapp brought West Ham to its knees with wages and cost them half an England team - is that what fans really want?

Quite what authority Curbishley can claim to be able to sign players can only make one suspicious as to why someone so poor at it should demand the right to bankrupt a club. No doubt in time allowed to run a club his way Keegan would have topped that. At least, I suppose, Curbs managed to resign quickly with dignity a substance Keegan lost years ago.

In baseball where output can be gauged exactly and those numbers are available for free the managerial recruitment is still split between a General Manager and a Manager. Even then they still overpay highly for ageing veterans with less skills than players who they could pay far less for.

The childish obsession with names and players who managers/fans/TV pundits are familiar with is frustrating. Added to this in English football managers are also known to receive pay backs from player buys and sells. Add also that player evaluation is much like fielding evaluation in baseball done by guesswork - in baseball managers often award gold gloves to the worst fielder but best known player in his position! Managers and players are not necessarily great evaluators of things that cannot be measured in any sport - quite the opposite.

It is why the decision to split manager and director of football makes so much sense. The coach/manager surely does not have time to recruit and may be overly influenced by players who do well in high profile games. It also is why it makes no sense for our cricket captain to pick the team. He is extremely unlikely to be good at both jobs and to have the time to scout people out.

The problem is of course that now owners buy well known players who they have heard of without regard to sense like Robinho and Shevchenko - so most managers at the top clubs probably have a more realistic gripe but generally the money sorts them out.

Keegan showed how irrational and lacking in decision making facilities he was by opposing Milner's move, wanting to retain the cunt Barton and wishing to renew part time player Owen's contract to pay him even more to decline. All 3 would have been good sales. Managers always want to hold on to all their players and have a vested personal interest in doing - called moral hazard.

I hope that Sky are just seeking out a small minority of moronic clowns who actually think Keegan was the answer and that he should have been allowed to spend as much money as he could? In addition weak Newcastle fans are making up all kinds of conspiracy between Dennis Wise and Ashley to do wor Kev in. Honestly why would Ashley hire the clown 8 months ago to undermine him and cost himself a fortune? I just hope the delusional paranoia and flat out stupidity is a result of Sky wanting to portray Geordie's as weak minded clowns with no perspective not reality.

For instance you sign Owen for 4 years the over or under on Keegan would have been what 1 year. Clubs cannot afford to pay for a manager's favorites for 3 years after the manager is there. The players' contracts last longer than most managers and it is incongruous to allow a non dispassionate person who works with them every day and who maybe bought them in to determine their renewals and whether to sell/re-buy them or not.

In the end the fans and managers who want complete control are wrong. Whilst most clubs seem to lack any better means does not mean that some day serious clubs will not use this system properly.

The twisted and paranoid delusion that has characterised many Newcastle fans is hard for me to fathom. British Sport is perverse where the pathetic like Keegan, Flintoff and others who eschew thought and any attempt at rationality (and worse) are so lauded. It shows that what scientists say is true - we judge things using subconscious prejudice not rational consciousness, we instinctively trust the reactionary populists in the face of all evidence to the contrary. Mistakes don't necessarily correct themselves nor it seems do people stop making the same ones over and over again.

Thu 4th Sep
Can Sophia Gardens Do A Matt Prior?

Wow Matt Prior does interviews and no longer comes across like the bellicose jerk who made such a fool of himself against India Henderson in the Times, in true blogger style not normally seen in a columnist for the old Thunderer, labelled him a Buffoon - which was mild.

Indeed he now is showing signs he can keep to a standard that will surely with the difference in his bat remove Ambrose from the Test Team. Although quite why like with Geraint Jones it requires selection for England before they get the coaching they need is beyond me. Next time identify the guy and get him good enough from day 1.

Well we have now picked Sophia Gardens for an Ashes Test venue in a year's time and today they showed they are not fit to run a piss up in a brewery. At least they have the thick end of a year to be ready for the Ashes. It has to be said that maybe we could have given them an early season test against Sri Lanka 3rds rather than an Ashes match but there you go.

Like Football at the moment it seems the poor quality people running the sports mistake the easy money rolling in as a sign of their competence rather than any objective measure.

Thu 4th Sep
Grow Up Kevin Keegan

Alan Curbishley at least showed the mental age of a petulant teenager by resigning because he was not able to choose his own players and not allowed to retain players whether the club could afford it or not.

Kevin Keegan is going through the terrible Twos with Newcastle over much the same reason. For some reason the club wanted shot of Joey Barton and not to renew part time player Michael Owen on 6 million a year.

As Mark Hughes showed the manager is now merely a coach. The ones who want to stay employed smile, play golf and act like they are just happy whoever comes and goes. Just PR men who lay out cones and soothe egos?

This could be a generational thing with the older generations not happy that their 7 figure salaries are no longer to be buffed with fat 'feedback' cheques from agents....

Tue 2nd Sep
Easy Target - Let's All Laugh At Chelsea

In the spirit of Sacha Baron Cohen I am going to take aim at the easiest target in sport.... Yes it's let's all laugh at Chelsea and in particular Peter Kenyon. They set out to get one player and knowingly played hard ball with Madrid only at the last minute to be trumped by a team who did not even particularly want the player just his name and to screw over a big team - Ok it was only Chelsea.

It was funny as the whole morning various fawning toads appeared on Sky Sports to say how serious the Abu Dhabi boys were. How unlike Chelsea that: dictatorship of one: lunatic asylum: last days of Stalin. Then they spent the rest of the day disproving it by chasing the players Chelsea and Man United were reduced to over bidding for as they were all that was available to clubs like them.

Since then they have gone out of their way to show that they are just as big a clown's ego organisation - with even more money to waste. Their considered targets after no consultation with their manager, who was playing golf, the ludicrously over priced Robinho and Berbatov who surprise surprise United and Chelsea were after.

They have even managed to get Robinho it seems as I type. No doubt the AD boys will try to swing it as some considered master-stroke to stump a rival. All one can say is that given the player is 1000s of miles away they are assuming Chelsea have done the due diligence and that he is physically OK. After all it is only money!

Anyway the only person smiling now must be Arsene Wenger as another set of clowns joins the nuclear war of the player trader ranks. Indeed the good news for fans of schadenfreude is that Chelsea now have an ageing squad of players stuck on huge contracts for the forseeable future. Their one attempt to get a player of a better age gazumped seemingly just to gazump them.... Anyone they go for it seems that Siddy will gazump

As it seems Siddy will go on the kind of orgy of spending that Chelsea once did it will not matter if Robinho is the same trick merchant poor player he was when I last watched him a couple years ago. Sort of like an 18 year old Ronaldo all step overs and no end results like goals and assists. They'll just get someone else until they end up like Chelsea.

Where this all leaves the Premier League and world football is beyond me. It is still doubtful that such vulgarity will be attractive to the players who whether they are as effective as their price tags or not people and sponsors want is unclear. The likes of Messi, Ronaldo and maybe even Fabregas may still find the allure of more traditional clubs.

Tue 2nd Sep
Hughes Cuckold

Sky Sports news made the laughable decision to interview Mark Hughes about what Manchester City were doing in the transfer market. He tried to sound big and clever but one could see the fact he was playing golf on deadline day he is nothing more than a coach.

Indeed as a coach appointed by his previous string holder he can look forward to be undermined and made to look a fool before being made an even richer man.

This is what will increasingly happen to English managers as foreign owners who are not greedy American (or Geordie) spivs with no interest in the game buy up all the real estate they can in the most popular sporting league in the world.

The only thing Hughes and co know to do is to keep their little mouths shut and direct complaints at referees like the small little power less clowns they will become. Say nothing about their bosses and then take a pay off to keep quiet about the insane asylum they work at ala Mourinho and Ranieri. Standing on the touchline getting angry is all they will have left open to them after laying out the cones and shouting at youthful millionaire degenerates. They will even get less and less opportunity to steal from the clubs with bank handers for transfers they no longer start yet alone organise.

Tue 2nd Sep
The Arabs Are Coming As They Say At High Class Brothels All Over London

It seems after some premature ejaculations that Man City have been bought by some people with actual real folding. Wow I can see a time when maybe the City of Manchester stadium might be more than half full when United don't fill it once a year.

Indeed the bad news for the clowns at Chelsea is that someone with more money and genuine smarts maybe moving in. The Abu Dhabi Group are apparently more than a 1 man band who owes their position to grabbing a country's assets and hanging on to them by sucking the dick of a mass murderer.

The Arabs also come without the baggage of being an allegedly corrupt pig who is linked to torture (which he would argue, correctly, makes him less nasty that Bliar, Brown, Clinton, Straw, Rice and Bush). Man City fans can now stop being so enthusiastic and bellicose in their defense of corruption and torture to defend their owner.

Fans of Northern comedy are already hoping that the rumours they have spent 30 million plus for Berbatov are true. Like having an unreliable Ferrari outside your Salford 3 bedroom semi...

Tue 2nd Sep
Capello - Walcott Why? Owen OK But...

Striker is not a position England have any strength at and for me we should pick Heskey or Crouch (maybe Rooney if he plays for the team not himself) and use our midfield strength instead of wasting it bag carrying for Walcott, Defoe, Owen and other lightweights who don't play team football.

I am not a fan of Owen or almost all small strikers (or Torres who plays like one) except David Villa. However if I had to pick one Englishman as a bench option at 1-0 down, when you really need it, it would still be Owen. Sure Owen is a poor footballer and increasingly immobile. Sure he has never been that good although he has been consistent to a degree. However he does have the cohones and the nous to be in the right place at the right time. Frankly Rooney, Defoe and Walcott could not find Birmingham on a map of the Midlands when the pressure is on - never mind the back of the net.

One could argue unconvincingly that Defoe is the equivalent whereas I would argue Defoe is even more lightweight and whilst he still has pace is an even worse all round footballer than Owen. Arguably at least Defoe will be fit for more than just the finals mind!

The opposite of Owen is Theo Walcott who would appear to only be moderately useful when the match is in your favour where his pace could be an outlet - however in a 23 man squad do you really have a place for a fair weather front runner?

Walcott has managed to get to the age of 20 without a clue what he is meant to do without the ball. When faced by mass ranks when he is not at speed he is easily pushed off the ball. In addition when he does not have the ball he seems to make no effort to get the ball - often taking wide positions on the touchline like the ageing Beckham which given he can still run is silly. Quite how one can play team football with such a player, ditto Beckham, not even Arsenal have yet worked out. Indeed he even manages to top Eboue in the 'do they have pictures' stakes about Wenger's other wise talented and technically good squad.

Quite how this Cinderella syndrome happens where a player is anointed young because he looks good on the basis of a few hours action. Then no one dares analyse them through 3 or 4 years of little or no improvement whilst their ceiling crashes down (see Wayne Rooney Maradona at 17 hard working striker with weak mind at 21). My point is that fine leave out Owen but not for this almost useless player, at present.

Another thing that increasingly seems common is that top young English talent have all the skills but just seem almost unable to play team football. Unable to make themselves available for the ball. Unable to link up. Unable to consistently change their approach to suit the situation.

It shows up an area of ignorance in English football that lauds Owen and fails to understand why no big club wants him as anything more than a bench option. They get so much praise yet managers with a choice avoid Defoe (see Jol and Ramos), Owen was benched at Madrid and no top side wanted him, Capello can't see the point either with Owen.

On Owen the hardest thing to believe is that Newcastle will offer him anything other than an incentive laden contract and small basic wage. He's screwed them so far and at least Capello is reflecting his declining status and the 'castle should consider that when writing this contract.