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Nov 2007 Archive

Fri 30th Nov
England Have Not Won A Decisive Game In How Long?

In our recent history of England Chokes we suggested that in major tournaments England's technical and mental limitations had cost them. Well when I thought about it England has not won many games with it on the line in qualifying as well.

In the games listed below England were not particularly strong when there was downside. Even the rear guards v Turkey and Italy a goal would have helped but instead we stayed behind the ball - given our propensity to give up leads that would seem stupid.

Le point is we have tactical limitations and technical but equally we seem to have a real under dog weak mentality. Best expressed by Steven "Don't ever give us an 11% chance to win the world cup again" Gerrard in his autobiography.

Thu 29th Nov
Derby Birmingham : Jewell McLeish good appointments

You know most times I hear of an appointment I mock. However no way can I criticise Derby for taking Jewell. Indeed I might criticise Jewell for maybe not waiting for a more established team - he has done well with 2 yo-yo clubs before and this is a 3rd. Indeed the wags might say he has been brought in to get them back up next year. I have my doubts about Jewell the man but if you told Derby the could trade Billy Mouth for Paul Jewell last month they'd have bitten your arm off.

Birmingham finally had the Bruce rut ended. Getting McLeish who basically did well head to head with Martin O'Neill at Rangers. Showing that Walter Smith's work was not an illusion followed by getting out at the right time with Scotland. Again with doubts over ownership and the Gold Sullivan closed wallet you have to feel Birmingham have also gone above themselves.

With managers I have realised you can learn a lot by whether they ever say anything that makes you listen i.e. McClaren is just a media trained goat for me. You also have in some cases to write off passages such as when good managers like Redknapp and Walter Smith thought they could buy and trade players every week. In the case of McLeish and Jewell there are not too many mulligans required - a mulligan is a do over that people in the US are allowed one per round of golf, I am told. For me notwithstanding the sack at Rangers McLeish and Jewell still have their mulligans in tact.

I know if I was a fan of either club I would be happier now.

Wed 28th Nov
Scotland : Billy Davies

On Saturday night the then Derby manager Billy Davies did his after match press conference and if he had said "I demand the board pay me off with loads of money" he would not have been more direct in his wish to go and be paid off. So this man should not be considered for street sweeper never mind Scotland. Seriously why is being a total low life considered so career enhancing in football?

Wed 28th Nov
Mourinho : Still Say No

Jose "Maureen" Mourinho has apparently thrown his hat in for the England job. Well for the lumpen who would take winning at any cost as validation then fine. For anyone who thinks this man would sour every triumph often before during and after. Indeed based on how he cracked before, during and after the Barcelona games winning would leave a bad taste. He may even be the best leaving other things aside but the price is always too high with him.

A legacy of his effect on players can be seen with yet another charge for Chelsea failing to control their players. John Terry who lied about Graham Poll last year really is becoming a hate figure for those who love the game. He should be given 5 matches or more to think about this. Watching Chelsea pile round referees bleating is unedifying.

Seriously if the English need a foreigner then get Capello or Martin O'Neill. Capello has a longer record than Mourinho. Has actually lasted more than 3 years in some places. Has never thrown all his dignity away in defeat or victory.

Tue 27th Nov
Delusional Ranting Clowns

Just watching Leicester with the born entertainer Ian Holloway on the side line. One cannot help wonder if there are no upcoming intelligent managers that chairmen are reduced to deck chair shuffling people like Holloway? Indeed quite why chairmen cannot see beyond these re-cycled and re-conditioned clowns is beyond me.

Even up the food chain Mark Hughes and Lawrie Sanchez came into the press room on Sunday and despite clearly being assertive and sounding the part, media training it is great, then proceeded to talk a load of old "The Referee..." "Oh are we not hard done by"... Just fuck off....

Are these grown men of seemingly above average intelligence really just going to spend the rest of their working lives crying about refereeing decisions? Are players that weak they need to feel hard done by and marginalised? i.e. are these whining clowns saying this to their players or because they don't really want to talk about the game? One suspects it is the latter and that like McClown they cannot assimilate the game without re-watching it so resort to petty child like whining.

What a sad career these men seem to have. Seriously no matter how assertive, adult, mature and middle class Mr Sanchez tries to sound he is really saying "That nasty man in black was beastly to me and my team" - as I am being nice and unprovocative I didn't do that in baby talk. He seems to intend to do this for what the next 15 years if he can maintain a job? Does he have no ambition?

Hopefully another manager I have a lot of time for like Mark Hughes will grow up soon - I say that despite his pitiful and vastly over rated tenure in charge of my motherland. Hughes seems to not realise that talking like a maligned little man means that when Chelsea and co look for a manager they will only see a worthy little man.

It is what separates Martin O'Neill from the dreck in that a number of years ago he got tired of being a broken record and actually showed an understanding of the offside interpretation.

It is about time they just banned post game interviews for the reputation of the managers as much as the complete lack of entertainment and drudgery of listening to another hard done by loser. Honestly commentary, coverage, analysis and comment are now 99% about so called controversy. They even reduce every goal to looking for a poor/questionable decision in the build up - up to 100 yards/1 minute or more ago! Quite why people watch any part of the shows that is not actual play is increasingly beyond me.

Tue 27th Nov
Rafa Position Surely Untenable

You wonder if Hicks-ville and Gillette will be as stupid as Kenyon and Roman and let a manager besmirch and soil them and then not sack them for fear. Worse this is inevitable and a one way street - the odds of the relationship improving are probably far too low to justify the likely damage by dreaming.

Chelsea with far more resources and a better team already might have sacrificed this season as well as wasted their resources last year (Mourinho chased 4 trophies when he should have concentrated on the two that might have kept his job, oh and in appeasing the board he kept playing Sheva).

Derby wasted no time in ditching their prima donna after he signalled he wanted to be paid off Liverpool should not waste any on theirs.

Mon 26th Nov
ECB Get It Wrong Again

The ECB presented with a penalty kick to change England cricket by making selection less about cuddly twee factors but more about what have you done for me lately. All they had to say was central contracts would be for promising players not ageing under achievers and drunks who would have earn their place. That selectors and selection would be remote from team and management and not worry about which guys were best in the pub. Not worry that people had to show character by arguing and throwing sweets on the pitch. But no....

Apparently the new Chairman of Selectors (probably still Craveney) will now tour with the team in a full time role. Reinforcing the problems they have already. Is he less likely to be bullied by coach and captain? Seriously all we need is a tour manager who makes sure the selectors team is the one on the pitch and send home drunks and clowns who differ. Coach and captain work with what they are given - they will always have important input but we don't want a situation where selectors use the players twee nicknames and worry about who will be upset, diddums, if X is captain.

Mon 26th Nov
Harmison Injured Hooooo Rahhhhh

Apparently Steve Harmless-son is injured again. you think of all the time effort and denial of others - in terms of coaching time and development. All for a bowler who seems unable to take wickets at much under 40 a piece ignoring one 10 match spell after the selectors got tough with him (Hello - Why not try that again).

According to Fletcher this weak man's whining was the reason they made Flintoff captain. Wow what if they had just not taken him and we were led by Strauss. No doubt the Aussies would still have the Ashes but maybe they would not be on a run of 14 tests all won.

I was going to write this great piece called the 'Width of an Israeli Post' about the difference between total clown reputation and ludicrous raised hopes in 2008. Then of course we lost to Croatia and the Russian shot the wrong side of the post meant nothing.

The point is that the howls of we are not worthy and self flagellation are out and yet 1 goal either way and they are put away. The whiners were out in force on Football Focus with Paul Jewell ranting over anyone who appeared sane and measured going on about the need for 'people who know the game' - whatever they are! Followed by Chris Waddle a man who made 62 mostly lazy poor games for 6 goals in an England shirt blaming coaches - in the same way Jewell complained about trained coaches with badges.

OK put simply England failed to qualify from a group most thought was a gimme. Not because of technique or ability or lack of players but because they could not simply score another goal or defend for 20 odd minutes in 2 straight games against inferior sides.

Whilst the ability to retain possession and pass are helpful mentality comes into it. Read Gerrard whine about the expectation of the last world cup (England 7/1 only a 12.5% chance according to the bookies (10 if you allow for their profit)). The fact is that England have led in the games that killed them in 02, 04 and now 08 qualifying. In addition they blew leads v France 04, Sweden 02 and 06 (twice). Add in Russia where they could concede 1 buit managed 2. Conceding the point they needed twice against Croatia. (in fact you could add the 2 goal lead v Portugal 00, 1-0 Germany 96).

The point is that if we do not admit our faults we will not correct them. The problems Jewell and Waddle brought up are the same as 10/20 years ago: kids play to win too early: poor technique: FA: Football people and the lack therefo (whoever they are) etc...

The real faults are mental and is it any accident the only sides we have had win the Champions League have done so from massive under dog positions - not a method guaranteed to work very often.

The point is that the FA have like foolish politicians threatened to change anything without any parameters or thoughts about what they are looking at. They are threatening to do something to be seen to do something whilst opening themselves up to some of the BS moronicity we heard today. In the end the best thing they could do is quickly appoint a manager who can tackle the players main weakness and it is mainly mental. Simple interview what is our main problem and how would you tackle it!

Sun 25th Nov
FA Fall Into Old Trap

In politics a review and a inquiry is a way to do nothing so why bring it to football. Did the Hutton inquiry mean less people thought Blair and Campbell a pair of liars? Nope. In real life get a manager in and the press and everyone can move on from whining about everything and nothing which means it is currently open season from a layer of cretinous whiners.

It is surely Trevor Brooking's job to address any weaknesses of the structure and if they see it well sack him but leave the national team seperate. The result of two football games we should have won or drawn at least should not be the catalyst for massive change. Are people saying we grab a point in Russia or at Wembley and it is all right? All wrong otherwise?

Finally Jewell and co should realise that to the rest of us 'Football People' are: Cloughie, McLintock, Venables, Sheringham and a shoe box with 50 grand in it: Craig Allardyce claiming his dad takes back handers: Kevin Bond offering to receive one: George Graham receiving hundreds of thousands of pounds of an agent's money: Venables buying untold players for Crystal Palace with Goldberg's money: ditto Portsmouth with someone else's: Walter Smith and Peter Reid buying and selling players like sweets: Drunk Bestie selling himself like a whore to the media every year: etc.

Not to mention the annoyance at being lectured by generations we later learned drank their talent down the tubes is unedifying. We need more of them running the FA like we need football man McClown back.

Sat 24th Nov
Next Manager : Genius Not Required

The thinking expressed by some is that England should wait until after the next world cup when international coaches become available. The idea is then that the likes of Rehhagel, Scolari and Hiddink could become available to do the job.

Personally I am not convinced that international managers are exactly the business. Outside England the real money is club management and the real talent therefore heads where?

If we got another coach/manager in for March that person could have loads of games (friendlies and maybe a home international suite) to be ready for the world cup qualifiers. The current world cup was won by a team managed by a man chiefly considered a club coach, Marcello Lippi.

I think what an England coach needs, assuming we are not looking for someone to change the game top to bottom: media friendly: tactically astute and pragmatic: able to stand up for his decisions: able to choose between star players: able to keep things simple and play to players strengths: probably not a revolutionary thinker but an independent one: Phlegmatic: an understanding of psychology that leads to England losing leads in craven 10 behind the ball manner.... (OK that last point is a comment! but someone who could understand that and bring people on board to alleviate it would be good).

I favour getting someone in sooner rather than waste loads of time with an X Factor long tedious search. The irony for me is I agreed with what they did last time only for them to make what to them was the safe selection.

Honestly how many jobs can you interview someone for who will/should have an acute understanding of the staff, those available and not. Be able to ask them what they would do and how they would do it in advance. For all his bluster McClaren ended up not so much Sven with a Mask as Sven without the calm and with Venables tactical innovations ringing in his ears.

Anyway here is my take on those I would not have, to declare an interest I backed Redknapp as not many people are ruling themselves in and many are ruled out or threatening to. However here is a few charlies who I would not consider, too long at least, well maybe the German:-

Fri 23rd Nov
5 Red Herrings

  1. The Players Don't Care They Are Millionaires...Yada

    Actually this is right but not in the way the people mean it. After all I don't think there is a lack of effort. Maybe a lack of deep real hunger. They clearly don't view England as something that requires them to think, or they cannot, and just turn up want to play 442. Maybe they should look in the mirror but frankly I think they do care, maybe too much looking at how they choke.

    Personally I am amazed many of the players turn up with little to gain and a lot to lose. You think Lampard turns up because he likes being booed by clowns? You think he then goes out there to spite you? Are you a moron?

    England choked and you don't choke because you don't care. You don't defend deeper and deeper, scared and frightened because you don't care. You do it because you don't think and prefer to go with instinct.

  2. All Our Players Are Technically Not Good Enough

    Tosh. If anything we have too many star wheels and not enough cogs. Lampard, Gerrard, Beckham, Rooney and even Owen don't play enough team football to all be in the same starting line up. Unfortunately the hierarchical status BS means replacements come in with a horrendous press about what a horrible loss the guy they are replacing is etc etc.

  3. No Passion

    I think this must be the most stupid remark ever made. Normally followed by some baloney about the national anthem not being sung hard enough. Russia and Croatia dissected England because of a lack of thought on England's part. Passion is shouting, shouting is pointless. Seriously were we better for having McClown shout and stomp or Svennis do nothing? It makes no difference and is a negative. Maybe it suits the English mentality to play in a heated rush but what do you do when the other team takes the ball away?

    Indeed the surgical precision of the 2nd and 3rd Croatian goals show they played calmly in their own heads.

  4. 442

    This is a problem of management and selection not formation. Maybe had we stuck to 442 we would be through but that would just cement the sad facts of 40 years of being outnumbered and out thought in midfield by better teams. It is changing formations for no reason bar which players you would prefer to play that is the problem.

    Having said that I do favour Harry Redknapp who favours 442 and will keep it simple. Mainly because I don't see England going forward in a climate where 'Passion' is the considered verdict of the people and they think a posturing prima donna like Jose Mourinho would be a good choice.

  5. They Are Just Better Players

    Then why is Kranjcar is with Portsmouth and Lampard Chelsea and Stevie Liverpool. Bollocks.

Thu 22nd Nov
England And Scotland United

Scots will point out their failure to qualify in the toughest group was more glorious and merit worthy than England choking away the easiest group. However the last few games do have one thing in common - both teams choked when they had something to lose.

England aided by management and a team culture that defies reason lost a group they should have won easily. Losing home and away to Croatia and losing away to Russia. In the end 1 point from their last 2 games would have been enough. Yet in those games England conceded 5 goals (2 in prior 10 and 1 of those was a laughable own goal).

Having got behind in the group Steven Gerrard and his band of underdog warriors went on a dismissal of opponents with easy 3 nil pastings of Estonia and Russia.

However when faced with limited tasks Gerrard and his band of worriers choked. 21 minutes to not concede 2 goals in Russia. 30 minutes or so to not concede at home having come from 2 down and.... (never mind score another and put it away).

Can they only truly play when nothing to lose underdogs? Why did England play better with 10 men in world cups 98 and 06? Why did they only start to play in 86 when bottom of the group or when 2-0 down to Argentina? Why in 90 did they only play well in the 2 games they were underdogs? Or 96 same 2 teams they played well against and played like palsied drains otherwise.

Is favouritism really that hard for these chickens top take?

However whilst Scottish fans can rightly lampoon England, esp little Englanders, and deserve huge praise it has to be said that in their own way they choked it. Had they beaten Ukraine when it was in their hands they would have qualified? Even against Italy they start the game with it in their hands, win and through. Yet they concede in a minute. Then with 25 minutes to make France sweat they failed to hold out. Cue whinging about the goal, no not even the goal the free kick that led up to it - pathetic. What about their offside goal...

I think the British in all sports have to shake off the losing culture of whining. Every football broadcast is filled with cheque grabbing ex-players and managers who seemingly have no love of football and just whine about every decision they can. Consequently our footballers grow up in a bubble where most defeats are blamed on the referee by weak managers who don't want to tell the truth to the press - in case their players find out they lost because the opposition were better. It is why our footballers look all tearful and hurt even at the pretty mild critique they get in the press - they just don't see their own weaknesses and no one close to them disabuses them of the notion.

The consequent culture of proving people wrong hardly makes for winners - after all when Mickey Owen proves people wrong what he is doing is saying I have been shite but was great tonight. Not exactly positive winner thinking.

It is why the England rugby players were so nauseating after winning a couple of tough games after 4 years of dreck and wondering why people were not singing from the roof tops and ignoring the prior 4 years. As much as people want to laud and come up with private fantasies about alone against the world under dog triumphs are a) less glorious as what people ideally want, who like sports, is true champions to prove themselves not a bunch of weaklings who can only win by removing expectation b) happen far less often...

Seriously favouritism and expectation should be embraced.

Wed 21st Nov
Beckham Robinson : OK, But Is There Any Thought Behind It?

OK I would drop Beckham yesteday and the day before. His lack of mobility and love of the long ball - not to mention increasingly chipped paceless crossing make him anathema in modern football. Robinson frankly every statistical explanation I have ever seen backs my eye view he does not cover his goal very well and is frankly an over weight clown with limited range. Indeed in his latter days at Leeds I don't think I have seen a poorer keeper one on one (Chris Kamara said he had been Leeds best player whereas I thought him most responsible - choose your preferred source!).

However, even McClown cannot risk the Beckham the other day and frankly he is doing his usual trick since his 352 rabbit died in the hat, of taking the path of least resistance. On Robinson has he detected he is shite or is just responding to an error? What about Wayne Rooney's error? Or Lescott's game long buffoonery?

Many a good goal keeper has died under pressure from manager's getting too familiar in the media attacking them after errors that will eventually happen. Evans, Houllier and Rafa managed to murder Freidel, James, Westerveld and finally Dudek for a short term excuse. The irony being that had they stuck with Friedel he is probably the best cat not called Cech and not Danish the premiership has had.

Also I have not seen Carson since the U21s so cannot comment but is he really in front of James and Green? Indeed does McClown have any basis to choose him other than his lack of shop soiledness? He would not have to be very good to improve on Robinson. Also even with the fat pie muncher we have conceded few goals - 4 and one of them was a pen and an OG (although had pie boy been more athletic it might not have happened).

Wed 21st Nov
Crouch : Not A Lone Front Man

If England go 451 does this mean that a) It has been chosen for tactical reasons? b) Or the manager is a fucking idiot who selects names and saw the chance to have Lampard, Gerrard and Hargreaves without having to choose c) he rates his other striking options so low he is Sven with a mask. See our missive about all the travails and stupidities of England selection.

Tactically it is an abortion where as in the world cup when England tried this with Rooney and Crouch v Portugal it did not work.

Many do not understand why Rafa persists with Dirk Kuyt ahead of Crouchy when Torres is down. I think the reason is clear that although Kuyt is shite his mobility allows him to play on his own up front. Crouch lack of mobility (he moves just not quickly) and line leading ability (Not a target man for all his height) make him a poor choice as a lone striker. Wayne Rooney of the big 3 has the talent to do it but becomes a baby when left out of the action for a while.

Another reason Erikssons 4321 did not work was that it seemed to encourage our backbone less defenders to sit even deeper. Steven Gerrard does not know how to play a complimentary role and Lampard's shooting boots did not bail England out.

Here is the key question if McClown wanted to play a lone front man why is it not Bent? Who has at least played the position. Why pick Defoe and Smith if they are not even considered as partners now?

Of course his selection was not based on sense it is essentially a list of players in a pecking order and he will unless completely stupid (and even then not always) pick the top 11 names and make a team. Anyone wonder why such clownery rarely wins? I doubt McClown even knows what is wrong with this approach. Certainly his teacher Sven did not.

A caveat on 2006 here had Lampard scored say 3 goals from his 28 shots (which would be low for him) could England have won and was it just bad luck? i.e. we got Lamps in position 5 times a game and luck did not happen? I guess it depends how much luck you believe there is in shooting and how Beyesian one is with one's stats.

Sun 18th Nov
Russia Scotland : Better To Leave Something Than Nothing

A fuller piece on why England don't do better later but for now commiserations to the Scots. Unlike Russia not sure they had much choice in Italy getting the 3 points late. However making France, whose history in the early 90s in qualifying included brutal collapses when needing 1 point from 2 games, go to Ukraine needing something would have been a prize in itself. One hopes that Scotland have a competitive team for some time especially as WE want to see them at Wembley - just being competitive in qualifying may be the height with say 1 tournament in 2 or 3, let's not get carried away.

Russia over attacking at the end and costing themselves a point made England's job much easier. Given this England side has bizarrely gone on sprees it has to be said it has also been held goal less 3 times by Croatia away, Macedonia at home and Israel away and making it so England had to win was at least something. Indeed England's results make them look like bullies who if they get on top can run it up on teams who stop pressing.

A side note on England it was felt that this group was an easy starter for McClown and no doubt those counter culture clowns at the Guardian are going to argue he should stay on if we don't qualify, don't believe a word of it. He should be sacked IF we qualify given the width of a post will have saved his job last night which makes no sense - is he the manager for 2008 onwards if a Russian shot is 10 inches either way? I'll be covering why Enland are not the sum of their parts tomorrow but we should still have qualified with ease.

Sat 17th Nov
England : Why I'd Rather They Qualified

I know that the nauseating coverage and the feeling that failure to qualify would change a damn thing make people want England to fail to qualify. Non fans of England look away now!

I'll add a few personal things I won't like: England spending 90 minutes behind the ball for a win/heartbreaking loss and having to sit watching a slow death ala 2006 v Portugal: David Beckham: Mickey Owen thinking he proves people wrong just because the ball goes in the net as he is paid to make it do: Gerrard crying about England being given 1 chance in 8 again and how that expectation must not happen again - his whinging under dogism brow: England playing tedious football all tournament: So called Patriotic (xenophobic) coverage: People actually saying Beckham/Rooney/Lampard/Rio/JT/C'Ash/Micah/Uncle Tom Cobley injured is a disaster or problem when it palpably is not (unless you select no reserves ala Svennis Pennis).

However imagine no England; no coverage; no build up; no care; boring cancel out each other knock out football played by teams other than England.

My advice if England qualify: watch the games no build up: don't read newspapers: talk about football all the time with friends (they know more than The Sun anyway): read TWSI if we are still here.

Wed 14th Nov SAF : Strongest Squad

Is the current Man United team really Sir Alex's strongest squad? Normally I ignore his output as it seems aimed at individuals and his squad collectively and mostly is nonsense disprovable in 2 minutes thought. However he may have a point this time.

In terms of world class players I personally don't get hard watching Ronaldo and doubt he has been or is yet a World XI player - Messi is better for one. So I don't see any there. Whereas Beckham, Keane and arguably Stam and Scholes were world class in their time. Vidic is OK but world class?

Nonetheless for depth he might be right. The exception is up front where circa the 2000 season United played Yorke, Cole, Sheringham, Scholes, Giggs and Ole Gunnar was 6th choice striker (for some reason it was always easy to wind up United fans who want OGS to be a good player even though he palpably was not - as shown by his being selected effectively 6th when injuries forced a change - picked behind Tore Andre Flo and others for Norway). However that team probably had fewer reserves elsewhere. Certainly the current team has only Tevez, Rooney and Saha as strikers but then it can play 4321 and all 3 can at a pinch play lone striker so not as bad as it looks.

The keeper is not the great Dane but they have better cover than Raimond Van Der Gouw.

I was certainly impressed last year it took 6 injuries before the likes of Heinze was thrown into the centre of defence - although Gary Neville is almost always injured now it seems and maybe should not count on a depth chart.

In midfield United seem to have a plethora of players. They also seem able to play 442 or 451 at will. However the quality of the midfield is often more mixed than the pomp of Beckham, Keane, Butt, Scholes and Giggs. Nonetheless arguably the current bunch are more tactically adaptable and indeed the classic 4 often seemed a weakness in Europe.

So for once maybe SAF is speaking to say something and maybe it is true. What I really like about United is when they jetison roles and rotate who is forward and back. At times this is better for me to watch than even Arsenal. Of course he is not yet claiming it is his best team and nor should he for now.

Wed 14th Nov McClaren 5 Left Backs 1 Ancient Centre Half 2 Non Right Backs

Nothing confirms the anthropological hierarchical approach of Steve McClown than his picking of defenders. Not content with 5 left backs (arguably Neville, Shorey, Lescott, C'Ash and Bridgey) one of whom he will not play even, Shorey, when Lescott was an open sore that probably knocked England out in Russia. He has added to that a fellow hybrid (jack of both not good at either) in Brown to Lescott. Then he has Right back better going forward Micah Richards who he says can play centre half. All attached to ageing hulk and deep line defender Sol Campbell. Great. Brown or Lescott to partner Campbell, Yuk.

Worse, other than Bridge I am not sure many of these have the technical ability to cope in slower paced games. C'Ash being horribly over rated as an attacker and is a defender with holes in his game. Lescott scored a few goals and plays for a defensively minded team with loads of cover and work rate. Richards is a player whose reputation exceeds his ability - sort of like an unfound out Glen Johnson. Brown is not going to be the best defender in the world as Ferguson once hoped, nor indeed even the 5th best defender at Old Trafford. Campbell has had a great career but is a camel with the ball and insists on defending deep which has been England's achilles heel. Shorey is selected why when it is clear a right back or centre half is required - given he could not get selected for the Russia game over Lescott's buffoonery at left back. Phil Neville is honest and has 2 left feet without being left footed.

Again he prefers players who have been well known by dint of early promise or the teams they were on the fringes of to players who truly play their position and have some ability as footballers.

Sun 11th Nov
Smith Selection Poor

There are problems picking an England forward line at present the obvious pairing Owen and Rooney hardly fire the imagination and no one seems obvious for a 4321 I would play. As options they generally all over much the same. Crouch is tall, and can be a threat close to goal, but uses his skill and brains mainly - is often just booked when he challenges in the air. Rooney can do but drifts out of games and has under pressure turns into the bad guy wrestler trying to get disqualified.. Defoe is just not of any use in most games. Smith plays like a moron as a forward and is a ludicrous selection. There is no option to play say as Kevin Davies did against Bayern Munchen in the week. Or to come on and be a threat at free kicks and set pieces when the opposition are behind the ball.

Defoe is the category of player who people think, like many other youth prodigies, are better than they are. He and Alan Smith, have been assumed to be better than they are now from a young age. Defoe has offered OK goals totals but essentially is a cream on top player who does not make the most of his talent and if he does not score is worse than useless. If he was any good anyone could have bought him out of the Spurs reserves any time in the last few years - he either is a weak mind who won't leave London or is just not wanted, Liverpool claimed they could not give him away and that seems true.

Smith's claim is similar in terms of being touted young. However it is also partly because he has played for top 4 teams, albeit on the fringe of the fringe once SAF had a good look at him. He seems sometimes to get it but mostly is clownish in his complete lack of understanding of what he should do especially as a forward. For me, as Sunderland are finding with 5.5 million for Richardson, fringe players off top 4 sides especially at roles like full back or holding midfield and double especially fringey reserves are generally over priced and of course probably know their career has peaked. Some like Phil Neville will play a role but many get found out when asked to be more than a complimentary.

Others would argue as well that a squad with 3 left backs (4 if you count who played there last) is pointless especially as he would not pick Shorey in Moscow even when Lescott was effectively making a negative contribution all game - then again my essential point is that McClown has no ability to judge what happens on the pitch.

The point is the squad is selected not from the thoughts of one man but on an absurd mixture of accepted wisdom (stupidity), hierarchy, assumption (if he plays for them or has those column inches) and because they have experience (which really has not worked so far! in games where it has been made the no 1 thing by the manager Croatia and Russia).

Personally I'd rather have a option like a Kevin Davies on the bench/pitch who could change a game that look at Defoe and Smith who extremely rarely do. Sometimes team's need something different not a poorer version of the same regardless of who is most valuable in the transfer market. Reserves should be options not just picked because of their status in the hierarchy. At least, if he is not, injured Jenas has been found out.

Sat 10th Nov
Moores : Slate Is Not Clean For Flintoff

Once again Peter Moores touch with reality is questionable. He said Andrew Flintoff's slate had been wiped clean. So like everyone else he would play lots of county cricket, establish a good record, get fit and then be considered then? No what he means is that despite never being a test no 6 and now unlikely to be able to bowl 25 overs a day he would in the face of all logic still be an automatic choice for the team. We would weaken our batting and cross our fingers that he even got back to where he was (which was not good enough over the long haul).

There is an irony that with 5 front line bowlers all with talents that we could afford him at 6. However the England attack of the Ashes is not likely to be repeated soon. The fact is a score of 400 was big in that series and yet in Australia our bowling and batting could lose a game with 600 on the board. Irony as in because we need to bat down we need 6 batters. As Flintoff is not a 6 and our wicket keeper and bowling line up hard make us strong at 7 and 8 to compensate we have to play 4 bowlers and thence 4 who can eat overs in tests where we get behind or need to force home an advantage.

So I'll believe Moores when the hard logic of Flintoff's position is stated and he is forced to prove himself again. The slate in terms of poor leadership, cronyism, clownery, buffoonery and drinking is wiped clean but performance and team requirements are not! Clearly the celebrity element is greater than the player we have seen since 2005.

Wed 7th Nov
Chelsea : Lose Lustre

Recently Chelsea have been on a tear and the goals have not been going in. Nonetheless even casual perusing of the games has shown an openness at the back largely due to Alex or Ben Haim that will surely be exposed. Schalke followed Wigan and Man City in not breaching the Chelsea back line but one wonders how long they will maintain their run of form. Indeed it may prove that wins over Valencia, Schalke 04 and even Man City by season end were not any great achievements - as Rosenborg's cracking of Valencia suggests.

The worst news of course was that Petr Cech went down and is out for a month. With so many years and so few games it is unlikely Carlo Cudicini will be able to be as good as he was 4 years ago and he is prone to get injured to boot.

Wed 7th Nov
Liverpool : Run It Up

I don't know whether to be impressed that Liverpool reversed a 2-1 defeat with an 8-0 thumping or to have a go. It does seem that English players and teams find performing easiest when there is only upside. Now this may even be true for everyone. However this country does seem to take it to extreme.

Anyway as with Holland running up 6-1 against Yugoslavia in 2000 or Liverpool crushing Crystal Palace 9-0 or even last year's non break through game for Wayne Rooney as it turned out when Roma were mauled 7-1 it can be meaningless come the next game (Holland went out next round, Liverpool were beaten by Palace in a FA Cup semi final and United limped out to Milan next round).

Arguably 8-0 reflects an insecurity in running up such a score. In the same way a Chelsea in its Mourinho pomp stopped at 4 most weeks not wasting energy against a beaten team to run up more than 5 (even considering need for better head to head record) shows a bully mentality from a team who seem to struggle when expected and prefer the knock out stages where they are a) underdogs as they face the likes of Chelsea b)fresher than opponents trying to win other trophies as well.

One thing I will say Rafa is a fool if he puts the shitestir Dirk Kuyt in ahead of Peter Crouch on any regular basis. Crouch is awkward and prone to go half a season without a goal but Dirk Kuyt is just shite.

Tue 6th Nov
Change The Manager : The Wrong Way

When changing the manager the key is surely whether you can get a positive replacement. One gets the impression Wigan/Bolton have no plan and have panicked off a few poor 'uns against good teams or while bedding down the new guy. Right or wrong Spurs clearly had a plan and someone in line.

Sheff U, Wigan and Bolton did not when they lost their no 1s and just took number 2s. When they fail they end up with the usual suspects many so soiled or implicated that one wonders if they chairmen and agents are too close, to use a euphemism.

I'd like to think there are managers out there with some ambition, vision and a plan that was not just keep buying and selling players till the results go bad. Why shuffle the deck chairs, managers and players, ala getting coleman, souey, dowie, megson!, gregory, o'leary, reid, robson ad nauseum. Indeed what generally

I find odd given the playing careers of Wenger, Rafa, Eriksson and especially Mourinho is how players with long careers near top level get automatic jobs. They have a modicum of success for a few years and are established deck chairs for years whatever happens and however incompetent, corrupt or alcoholic they are.

I am not saying go totally left field and/or get someone foreign but surely there must be some talent out there with an ethos or plan. Some organisational and managerial ability that long term no 2s, worn out tarts who appear on TV a lot and moderate name ex players (or a combo there of) may/obviously lack.

I'd love to know quite what questions Chairmen ask and how much they truly probe new recruits and how much is an inverse beauty contest given how they look. Or is it just trying a name the fans know and seeing it as a panacea? If results improve then though I am struck often but how it may just be one of those things and long term nothing definitive has really changed yet alone achieved.

On sacking now, October and November, I see no reason, given the likely later appointment of coaches/managers who lack any real blueprint and need to buy players to do anything, to change a manager before December. Then you might want someone new to take stock and get ready for January and its transfer window IF you have funds. If you have someone in mind and they will try something new or bold maybe. To just grab a re-tread makes no sense.

Finally some appointments involving the possibly corrupt or incompetent (the only other credible explanation) defy reason and belief.

In the end success merely trading players is hard, especially those of a certain age. It is not a long term blue print. If you get a good manager at least with the biggest 5 managed by foreigners (or Scots!) you have less risk than in Italy or Spain of them being grabbed by someone bigger. For me though what strikes me as oddest is that when chairmen keep repeating the same mistakes they never try anything different.

Sun 4th Nov
Chronicle Of An Injustice Foretold

The ex basketball player Charles Barkley when asked about auto racing basically said of it "It's not a sport It's Drivin'". Well boxing most definitely is a sport albeit a brutal hard one where the winner is the fat man outside the ring.....

You might wonder how the population of the UK will combine this year to make rookie loser Lewis Hamilton Sports Personality of the Year over Joe Calzaghe of the 21 straight title defences (and Ricky Hatton if he beats pound for pound king Pretty Boy Floyd (assuming you don't rate Joe Calzaghe that high)).

Look Hamilton made a great debut in a great car. No doubt he has paid a lot of dues on his way but here is the hard truth: Alonso was faster in the races and lost the title with stupidity: Hamilton should have won the title and also lost it with stupidity: The only driver you can compare Hamilton with is his team mate and generally speaking he was slower: He had a better car than anyone: You can blame the team for costing him but like a pitcher blaming his catcher that would be a) low b) an admission that y'boy is not in charge.

Calzaghe has suffered from boxing being mainly on Sky and now Setanta. His name recognition would be below the likely inferior Hatton. Indeed both could be behind careless driver Amir Khan. Khan has as it happens has not beaten anyone and looked chinny enough he never will.

Only 6 other boxers in history reigned for 10 years. 21 straight title defences beating 8 world or former world champions even in the alphabet soup era is impressive. Sure some fights have been dull but when it is required Calzaghe has been magnificent. Her should win all the awards unless Hatton over turns Floyd. Any other winner in a year of British losing would be a travesty - as would make the losing Rugby Union team of the year.

Sat 3rd Nov
Burn Out

The cretinous knee jerk reaction of many to the headlines on burn out by our sportsmen has been rather like the lunatic one about migrants here. The fact is that the reasons to object to burning out our sportsmen have nothing to do with how much they are paid - be it rugby, cricket or football. My main point is the preference to watch quality sport.

Sat 3rd Nov
Hingis Dallaglio Catt And The 4th Estate's Faux Shock

In amongst all the wailing and gnashing of teeth I should announce a jealousy that maybe I would like to be a sports columnist. Not a writer trying thrash copy out and seemingly missing the 2nd half of a game or having to negotiate traffic and cold nights 100s of miles away.

Anyway that said the story that Martina Hingis, who is now almost a social player anyway, has failed a test for Cocaine is hardly news. I mean name which Wimbledon Men's Singles Winner(s) of the 80s were not on cocaine or other drugs? Struggle ain't it.

Similarly whilst they fill their newspapers full of lies rumours and general excrement they whine and howl at Catt and Dallaglio. Yet had Catt or Dallaglio spread far more malicious opinions by briefing 2nd rate spiv journalists in sad wine bars that would be OK then? Yes it would, read how much of your paper is malicious gossip, distorted research on how obese people are the cause of all the world's problem and how marijuana is different to marijuana was before Gordon Brown decided to reclassify it back.

I also find it hard that the Lunchtime O'Boozes as journalists were known in the 70s have not had somewhat more exposure to cocaine than myself. So they peddle a morality that many do not share or opinions that show make their newspapers worse than the people they are slating. They want it both ways.

As to the Independent headline "Hingis quits under cocaine cloud" all I can say is she wishes!

Fri 2nd Nov
Chelsea : Grant Determined To Waste Advantage

Last year Chelsea won the cup double and it had all the glory of yesterday's left overs. Now there are 2 precious resources for Chelsea that are not Cech and they are the health of Lampard and Drogba (Essien and Carvalho may rightly claim that is unfair). Avram Grant has been gifted a fresh Lampard thanks to a summer off and a rare injury. He may also feel this will keep the stats monster that is Lampard fit enough although I suspect he does not think like that.

Given the up and down midfielder is the most likely to wear down over a season (the fact last season was the first time it clearly happened for Chelsea in a World Cup following campaign shows how indestructible the man has been). I therefore wonder why he played Lampard alone of his top top players in the Careless Cup. We have seen the likes of Beckham wear down at Lampard's age off 4 or 5 years of top top achievement and game in game out attendance and performance.

What last night did show, without having seen the game, is that Chelsea without its regulars, especially with Alex, Cuuds and Ben Haim as custodians of the goal, are not that good. Given that he has 9 or 10 players he can truely trust surely it is better to go out than waste a shot of Frank Lampard. The problem being that of course without Lampard grabbing a treble they would be out. That the fringe squad is so poor and out of practise you don't want to play them.

Given the Chelsea squad after his best players Grant will try to pick the same 8 or 9 for every game the problem becomes 2 fold those not playing will be out of practise and those playing worn down if they are roped into pointless competitions the winning of which would not save anyone in the top 4s job (see Vialli and Mourinho).

The formation of the team last night was such that it is clear Chelsea will tackle all 4 competitions again. Surely this is the year to start blooding their bloated youth program and try for the Champion's League? But no that would require a decision and since Mourinho was not able to make one last year it is unlikely Grant will. Never confuse Chelsea and Intelligence.

Thu 1st Nov
Wicket Keeper Selection : Yes, But Why A Buffoon

In the end when Fletcher explains the Jones over Read decision it makes sense. Read does not have what is called in baseball the range of Jones and often leaves first slip to try to get catches he should take. I certainly re-reading the November '06 blog said I was ambivalent on the choice between the two. Whilst Read clearly lacked defensive technique in his batting Jones lacked runs and their overall records are hard to part so not sure I can back Fletcher there but batting is secondary and Australia find out poor technique.

The side of Fletch's argument I don't like is the crap about no fight in him because he let Warney have a few well chosen words at Collingwood - 10 runs MBE, priceless. If fight is the buffoonish tossery of piss poor wicket keeper Prior and clownish oaf Nixon this last year then I am a french pie maker (I am an English computer consultant in case you wondered). In some ways Fletcher would have treated Read and the public better if he explained the selection at the time. This is not premiership football where rotation happens and sometimes managers have to excuse short term form and make long term decisions not easily explainable to a whinging media.

The real irony of last year was that they finally dropped Geraint Jones when his keeping was as good as anyones. Then by bringing and removing Read they piled the pressure on Jones. Given his judgement of Read's character and his tolerance of Harm-less-son and Jones cracking with the bat one wonders quite what fighting spirit he claims to see in some players and not others. In the end Fletcher would have done better with, and by, Read, Flintoff and the rest by just being honest at the time. Instead he seemed to indulge drinkers and crucify quieter characters...

Nonetheless the feeling persists that regardless of ability at the game it is secondary to being a loud mouth buffoon as the primary requirement of an England wicket keeper. Also it does seem odd that selection of a wicket keeper depends on being seen as a good bloke by a selector! Prior and his iron gloves and poor batting, seemingly, against any bowler who is competent and rested by Moores his former county coach and architect of the allow 25 byes and drop catches technique. Mustard and his non mustard ODI batting being obviously a call of his county mate and Cap'n Collie. In the end a few chosen words and shouting back at the opposition and throwing sweets is not worth 1 dropped catch - or indeed is a negative if you ask me.

As more cricketers emerge maybe from cultures where shouting, drinking and being rude (not to mention shildish sweet throwing) are seen as character traits to avoid the England selectors also run the risk of their selection being seen as racist.

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